I LOOOOVE Thanksgiving. I really REALLY Love Thanksgiving. For the following reasons:
1. Pie. Nuff said.
2. Stuffing. Just the name sounds fat.
3. Mashed Potatoes. More specifically, Matt's garlic and butter mashed potatoes...
3.5. (an extension of #3): Licking the electric beater head after Matt whips the mashed potatoes (as one would do after you make a cake, or brownies, or cookies, or pudding)...yeah I DID THAT!
4. PIE
5. Booze.
6. Outlet Shopping at midnight with Matt's sister.
7. PIE
8. Playing wii bowling with family.
9. PIE
10. Because I really like to eat pie.
I decorated my table with clear mason jars filled with small and jumbo mums (copper and white) with a cinderella pumpkin in the middle. Tapered candlesticks on either side of the pumpkin. It was almost a test run for wedding decor. I am head over heels in love with the jumbo (or large) mums. They are big and fluffy, would make an amazing bridal bouquet...we'll see...
Now that all the leftovers are gone, I can get back on track to slim brideness.
Christmas is in full swing in Meg World. The tree is in and decorated, home made garland is hung, and the usual rotation of Christmas Vacation, ELF, and Home Alone is on the TV. I love the smell of a Christmas Tree in house, it just makes everything a little bit cheerier.
I hope everyone had an awesome Turkey Day, didn't get run over by rabid shoppers on Black Friday, and got a great deal at some point over the weekend...or enjoyed NOT shopping and watched alot of TV? Is that what non-shoppers do on Black Friday?
I wouldn't know.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
2 Things...
1. I am eating an oreo as I type. I am admitting it to the world. I needed it. For real.
2. I have a gift for you all. I am according to my grooveshark account "obsessed" with a couple of songs right now, and some of them really hit the feeling of Matt and I as a couple, and what kind of wedding we want...particuarly "I Do" by the Marvelows and "Fallin in Love" by the lovely Claire Lynch. So.....blamo! I made a little playlist of the music that makes Matt and I dance in the living room and what I am "obsessed" with. I also like weird covers, so I threw in a bluegrass "Gin and Juice", a folksy "Hey Ya", and a indie rock version of the bluegrass song "Wagon Wheel" (although the original is still the best). Also, Matt and I's first dance might be one of these songs...try and guess!
Enjoy!
2. I have a gift for you all. I am according to my grooveshark account "obsessed" with a couple of songs right now, and some of them really hit the feeling of Matt and I as a couple, and what kind of wedding we want...particuarly "I Do" by the Marvelows and "Fallin in Love" by the lovely Claire Lynch. So.....blamo! I made a little playlist of the music that makes Matt and I dance in the living room and what I am "obsessed" with. I also like weird covers, so I threw in a bluegrass "Gin and Juice", a folksy "Hey Ya", and a indie rock version of the bluegrass song "Wagon Wheel" (although the original is still the best). Also, Matt and I's first dance might be one of these songs...try and guess!
Enjoy!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
187 Invites
First off. Thank you FatSecret. For helping me to keep tabs of all the crap I shove in my face. Thanks.
Save the date deadline is looming, and as Matt and I look at them and invites...it is SO overwhelming. We already know what the save the date will be...after we make them and send them out, I'll scan in ours... But the invites...woah. The idea that this piece of paper is the first impression people are getting of what our wedding is all about, and whether they will rearrange their lives to come...dang talk about pressure. It just seems like such a big decision...
Here are some of the ones I have been looking at... How gorgeous is this...simple, fallish, but unique and so precious!!I love the orange it is so bright and lively, and I really think it has such a happy quality to the whole invitation. I really dig it.
This one has so much fun a whimsy to it, and is something completely memorable, which is very important to Matt and I. I don't know if it is a little hard to read though..
But for some reason, I am really loving this one... I love how vintage and folksy it is, it's super simple, super easy to read, and we could easily jazz it up with a colorful envelope liner or with a map to the site (I am planning on drawing ours), it really seems like it gets the vintage feel, but the others are so much more colorful...eh, we still have time.
Thoughts?
I have still been watching what I am eating, and trying to get a work out in. I am making some progress now that I am watching what I eat again. Amazing how helpful it is to just pay attention. Hopefully I can keep it up....encourage me!
Until next time....
PS I weighed in at 187 this week. Yay me, every 2 lbs counts, right?
Save the date deadline is looming, and as Matt and I look at them and invites...it is SO overwhelming. We already know what the save the date will be...after we make them and send them out, I'll scan in ours... But the invites...woah. The idea that this piece of paper is the first impression people are getting of what our wedding is all about, and whether they will rearrange their lives to come...dang talk about pressure. It just seems like such a big decision...
Here are some of the ones I have been looking at... How gorgeous is this...simple, fallish, but unique and so precious!!I love the orange it is so bright and lively, and I really think it has such a happy quality to the whole invitation. I really dig it.
This one has so much fun a whimsy to it, and is something completely memorable, which is very important to Matt and I. I don't know if it is a little hard to read though..
But for some reason, I am really loving this one... I love how vintage and folksy it is, it's super simple, super easy to read, and we could easily jazz it up with a colorful envelope liner or with a map to the site (I am planning on drawing ours), it really seems like it gets the vintage feel, but the others are so much more colorful...eh, we still have time.
Thoughts?
I have still been watching what I am eating, and trying to get a work out in. I am making some progress now that I am watching what I eat again. Amazing how helpful it is to just pay attention. Hopefully I can keep it up....encourage me!
Until next time....
PS I weighed in at 187 this week. Yay me, every 2 lbs counts, right?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
FatSecret
I have a secret. A FatSecret.
FatSecret is my new calorie counting app on my phone that let's me plug in everything I shove in my trap immediately. AND it calculates the calories FOR ME. It is searchable by food, restaurant, popular brands...it's SO EASY! I friggin LOVE knowing that by lunch I have consumed 40 percent of my allotted calorie intake...LOVE IT! Fat Bride Slim highly recommended this app! FBS seal of approval.
We shall see if it really helps me loose any weight....eep.
Wedding news...none really. Matt and I decided to take one day a week (Mondays) to work on wedding stuff. This coming Monday...guest list for our parents to proof before the holidays make us put it off even longer. I am also going to work on finishing up the mustache and pinwheel projects before Thanksgiving, leaving the big stuff (chandeliers? veil? boutineers?) for the spring.
Sorry it's boring, but after weighing in at FATASS this week, I am just trying to get back on track...let's hope me and FatSecret can pull it together.
FatSecret is my new calorie counting app on my phone that let's me plug in everything I shove in my trap immediately. AND it calculates the calories FOR ME. It is searchable by food, restaurant, popular brands...it's SO EASY! I friggin LOVE knowing that by lunch I have consumed 40 percent of my allotted calorie intake...LOVE IT! Fat Bride Slim highly recommended this app! FBS seal of approval.
We shall see if it really helps me loose any weight....eep.
Wedding news...none really. Matt and I decided to take one day a week (Mondays) to work on wedding stuff. This coming Monday...guest list for our parents to proof before the holidays make us put it off even longer. I am also going to work on finishing up the mustache and pinwheel projects before Thanksgiving, leaving the big stuff (chandeliers? veil? boutineers?) for the spring.
Sorry it's boring, but after weighing in at FATASS this week, I am just trying to get back on track...let's hope me and FatSecret can pull it together.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
189
Yup. I have gained it all back...almost. I am fatty fat again. But I am serious now!
Saturday will be the official weigh in day.
Sunday will be cheat day. I will not post my food on Sunday.
But from here on out. If I eat it. You will know.
Today:
Bagel with butter.
3 cups of coffee with Mint Truffle Coffee Creamer. No added sugar.
Cannellini and Kale Soup.
2 slices of cheese bread
Exercise:
40 Minutes: Treadmill hill climbing
15 Minutes: Stationary bike at level 10 (whatever THAT means)
Signing off...see you tomorrow.
Saturday will be the official weigh in day.
Sunday will be cheat day. I will not post my food on Sunday.
But from here on out. If I eat it. You will know.
Today:
Bagel with butter.
3 cups of coffee with Mint Truffle Coffee Creamer. No added sugar.
Cannellini and Kale Soup.
2 slices of cheese bread
Exercise:
40 Minutes: Treadmill hill climbing
15 Minutes: Stationary bike at level 10 (whatever THAT means)
Signing off...see you tomorrow.
Monday, November 1, 2010
100!
This is Fat Bride Slim's 100th post, and I must say, I am very close to where I started 100 posts ago. Although I have not gained back every single pound I lost, I am pretty close to that beginning weight of 193. The good news is, Matt has joined is own version of FBS, in the form of the Fat F*$k Fit Club.
The rules of the FFFC are simple...ish.
1. 2 bucks is paid for every pound lost
2. The money goes into a pot, which is used by the other members of the club for Matt's Bachelor Party.
3. If any of the members fail. The money is forfeited to a charity.
Welp, I aint in the FFFC, but I do like the idea of getting paid per pound. And at the end...hello Badgely Mischka Bridal Shoes!
So here's the deal. I will begin posting my weight again. I promise. And once again, every week I have to face myself. I think that is how it started coming back.
Weigh in tomorrow.
Hopefully with Matt also working to loose, we will both be successful in our endeavor. Yay!
The rules of the FFFC are simple...ish.
1. 2 bucks is paid for every pound lost
2. The money goes into a pot, which is used by the other members of the club for Matt's Bachelor Party.
3. If any of the members fail. The money is forfeited to a charity.
Welp, I aint in the FFFC, but I do like the idea of getting paid per pound. And at the end...hello Badgely Mischka Bridal Shoes!
So here's the deal. I will begin posting my weight again. I promise. And once again, every week I have to face myself. I think that is how it started coming back.
Weigh in tomorrow.
Hopefully with Matt also working to loose, we will both be successful in our endeavor. Yay!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Smack My Gym Up
Damn I worked OUT today. I mean like really really worked out. I cannot lift my arms over my head...which means tomorrow is sooooo gonna suck. I have a goal of turning my apple shaped body....actually, it's more like an apple with 2 breadsticks shoved into it...anyways...into a slammin hourglass. I am actually trying to make my butt bubblier(?) while trying to whittle my waist without loosing my boobies....uh is this even POSSIBLE?!!?!?!? Instead of doing running cardio for an hour, I am alternating mountain climb on the treadmill with reverse elliptical machine, and throwing in some stationary bike for good measure. Because "Pearl" AKA "The Dress" is a figure hugging fit and flare, I need my curves to be H-O-T!I have been in listmaking mode, trying to see how much I can actually get done over the winter. I cannot believe we are already at a year out...WEIRD. I have so many DIY projects, I really think I will go crazy next summer if I don't hunker down and work on some of them now...save the dates, invitations, pinwheels, mustaches, lanterns, boutineers, veil, possibly a chandelier??? YES, I know I'm crazy...but I am on a DIY mission. What's crazy to me is how far in advance you are recommended to do things...save the dates a year out!? Wedding dress 12-8 months in advance?! What about all those poor brides who are planning in 3 months! Yikes!
One of the items that we want to make sure we get taken care of with plenty of time is Matt's Custom Made Wedding Band...diva much? Kidding, but seriously, the band can take up to 6 months to make. This is what we are looking at...
We both love the idea that Matt's ring is a one of a kind, and it will have my fingerprint on the inside, isn't it so sweet you kinda throw up in your mouth...GOOD!
Anyways...Food is better. I made pumpkin bread, but then I gave it all away so I wouldn't eat two loaves of it by myself and end up crying, hiding in a closet with orange crumbs smeared across my face and the smell of cinnamon and cloves seeping out of my pores...EW. So I gifted to all the amazingness that IS my pumpkin bread...it's pretty awesome, I'm jus sayin. Am I supposed to be talking about how healthy I was today? YES. I was healthy today. The end.
Tomorrow:
I will go to the gym
I will eat healthy
I will be awesome.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Gymtastic
So I hit the gym today doing 15 minutes on 4 different cardio machines and then lifted weights. Still feeling slightly motivated I did "Carmen Electra's Cardio Striptease" (thanks cousin Stephanie).
I felt like the biggest idiot EVER. Here I am in my butt shoes, capri sweat pants, and a giant shirt that says "GREEN MONSTAH" trying to get my sexy on. NOT SEXY. I felt no increase in my heart rate other than the paranoia that Matt was going to walk in at any minute while I was doing my slut squats. Oh, how wonderful webcam would be for you...although absolutely mortifying to me. I am convinced that NOBODY can look sexy during "Carmen Electra's Cardio Striptease" EXCEPT Carmen Electra. I will save my slut squats for another day.
I need to get back into watching what I eat. I fell off the veggie wagon into a pile of pastry, ice cream, and cupcakes....no good. Well, they were good, trust me, but I am feeling a little round lately. Today I have eaten: fat free pudding, chicken, 2 pickels, and about 400 almonds...more like 17...but still. I feel GROSS. Maybe it's because at the gym my sweat kinda smelled like pickle juice.....ewww.
Shower for me...might practice my sexy walk on the way there...
I felt like the biggest idiot EVER. Here I am in my butt shoes, capri sweat pants, and a giant shirt that says "GREEN MONSTAH" trying to get my sexy on. NOT SEXY. I felt no increase in my heart rate other than the paranoia that Matt was going to walk in at any minute while I was doing my slut squats. Oh, how wonderful webcam would be for you...although absolutely mortifying to me. I am convinced that NOBODY can look sexy during "Carmen Electra's Cardio Striptease" EXCEPT Carmen Electra. I will save my slut squats for another day.
I need to get back into watching what I eat. I fell off the veggie wagon into a pile of pastry, ice cream, and cupcakes....no good. Well, they were good, trust me, but I am feeling a little round lately. Today I have eaten: fat free pudding, chicken, 2 pickels, and about 400 almonds...more like 17...but still. I feel GROSS. Maybe it's because at the gym my sweat kinda smelled like pickle juice.....ewww.
Shower for me...might practice my sexy walk on the way there...
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Pork.
So I go to the gym now. Sorry Bob, but I am now a proud member of the YMCA...Dammit now that song is in my head...anyways, I have been going to the gym around 5:00pm because "Say Yes to the Dress" reruns are on from 5:00-6:00 and it keeps me motivated to stay on the treadmill. I hate HATE HATE running, so I wear my butt shoes and walk on level 15 incline to kick my ass. It gets my heart rate up, makes me sweat like a man, and makes my gluteus maximus BURN the next day. I think it would still be nice to have Bob there with me...but for now Randy at Klienfelds will have to do.
Eating habits are sucking right now. I am not even going to lie. I ate chicken fingers yesterday, and guess what...THEY WERE GOOD. And then, it was Monday night football, so obviously I had a pitcher of beer and pulled pork nachos...FATTY FAT FAT!!! But Lawd Have Mercy...it. was. goooooood. The sweet saucy pulled pork mixes with cheese, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, in all its fattening delicious, calories busting goodness....so worth the bloated guilt one faces the day after. Overall the night of gluttony was phenomenal until I dropped a huge piece of pork into my beer....obviously I kept drinking it, until the pork particles just started grossing me out too much...even fat girls have a limit ya know. Although the BBQ sauce sweetened/complemented the flavor of my Octoberfest...Beer just isn't supposed to be chunky...
Today, however, I believe that oven roasted vegetables and some sort of non-fried meat item will be dinner...at least thats the plan...will update on vegetable status soon.
Thanks to "My Dress", I will kindly refer to her as "Pearl" from here on out, I have realized that dropping tons of weight is not what I need or want to do. "Pearl" has a corset to suck in all my fat (woot!). "Pearl" was designed to make Megan M. Tracy's curves look bangin....oh Pearl...when will you be mine? She is just magical in every way...I haven't stopped thinking about her ever since her luxurious fabric hugged my body in all the right ways...ever since me, mom, and sister were tearing up in a dressing room...ever since....oh pearl. My new goal is to tone up the arms, and to make my butt look AWESOME. And to get rid of my muffin top...or in my case cupcake top, as I do not eat any muffins, but indulge way too much on cupcakes...mmm cupcakes....
Snap out of it Meg! No cupcakes for you!
Now that I know the dress, I need to find me some SHOES yall.
Eating habits are sucking right now. I am not even going to lie. I ate chicken fingers yesterday, and guess what...THEY WERE GOOD. And then, it was Monday night football, so obviously I had a pitcher of beer and pulled pork nachos...FATTY FAT FAT!!! But Lawd Have Mercy...it. was. goooooood. The sweet saucy pulled pork mixes with cheese, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, in all its fattening delicious, calories busting goodness....so worth the bloated guilt one faces the day after. Overall the night of gluttony was phenomenal until I dropped a huge piece of pork into my beer....obviously I kept drinking it, until the pork particles just started grossing me out too much...even fat girls have a limit ya know. Although the BBQ sauce sweetened/complemented the flavor of my Octoberfest...Beer just isn't supposed to be chunky...
Today, however, I believe that oven roasted vegetables and some sort of non-fried meat item will be dinner...at least thats the plan...will update on vegetable status soon.
Thanks to "My Dress", I will kindly refer to her as "Pearl" from here on out, I have realized that dropping tons of weight is not what I need or want to do. "Pearl" has a corset to suck in all my fat (woot!). "Pearl" was designed to make Megan M. Tracy's curves look bangin....oh Pearl...when will you be mine? She is just magical in every way...I haven't stopped thinking about her ever since her luxurious fabric hugged my body in all the right ways...ever since me, mom, and sister were tearing up in a dressing room...ever since....oh pearl. My new goal is to tone up the arms, and to make my butt look AWESOME. And to get rid of my muffin top...or in my case cupcake top, as I do not eat any muffins, but indulge way too much on cupcakes...mmm cupcakes....
Snap out of it Meg! No cupcakes for you!
Now that I know the dress, I need to find me some SHOES yall.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I'm baaaack
Hello Kids, I am back to blogging!
After a long couple of weeks of work work work, I am back to the b-log.
I must start with a rant(haven't you missed them?) about the evil bitches that reside on theknot.com's community forums. They are all evil judgey whores and I suggest to anyone getting married not to waste your time seeking advice from such pathetic and snarky jerks. I could've written "I would like to wear a birdcage veil, thoughts?" And would have been immediately berated with comments about how birdcage veils are for losers, that they would cause my fiancé to break up with me immediately, and that overall I am a ugly fat skank for wanting to wear one...even though there is not a picture of me up on the website (to prove my fat ugly skankyness), nor any proof of my loserdom other than the fact I am searching for advice from a bunch of idiot strangers who have nothing better to do than sit on a wedding website at 1 in the afternoon....
take that knot community boards...HA!
The trip to NC in August was incredibly productive, we were able to book the most amazing photographer. She is such a sweetie, and we are so excited to have found her before she becomes world famous. Matt and I fell in love with her photos after I was stalking every photographer on the east coast, but almost lost hope when we saw she had no wedding photos...but, lo and behold she just began her move into the wedding industry and we snatched her up! Check out her pics.
http://rachleaphotoblog.com/
She ROCKS!
We also booked our caterer (Thanks Aunt Kathy), and our Florist (Thanks Aunt Kathy and Aunt Lisa!), and have the most wonderful site! Oh, and "Sandy"..."Sandy" is fierce.
And THE REAL DRESS. Bye bye Sabine. This one is LEGIT. I won't spoil it for you all, but I am just going to say...it is fabulous!!!
Now to loose the weight...
FOOD:
apple bread (BAD)
4 coffees (EH)
green beans (GOOD)
chicken (EH)
Salad
Soup
WINE, lots of wine (GOOD!)
2 oreos (AWESOME)
To the gym tomorrow.....
After a long couple of weeks of work work work, I am back to the b-log.
I must start with a rant(haven't you missed them?) about the evil bitches that reside on theknot.com's community forums. They are all evil judgey whores and I suggest to anyone getting married not to waste your time seeking advice from such pathetic and snarky jerks. I could've written "I would like to wear a birdcage veil, thoughts?" And would have been immediately berated with comments about how birdcage veils are for losers, that they would cause my fiancé to break up with me immediately, and that overall I am a ugly fat skank for wanting to wear one...even though there is not a picture of me up on the website (to prove my fat ugly skankyness), nor any proof of my loserdom other than the fact I am searching for advice from a bunch of idiot strangers who have nothing better to do than sit on a wedding website at 1 in the afternoon....
take that knot community boards...HA!
The trip to NC in August was incredibly productive, we were able to book the most amazing photographer. She is such a sweetie, and we are so excited to have found her before she becomes world famous. Matt and I fell in love with her photos after I was stalking every photographer on the east coast, but almost lost hope when we saw she had no wedding photos...but, lo and behold she just began her move into the wedding industry and we snatched her up! Check out her pics.
http://rachleaphotoblog.com/
She ROCKS!
We also booked our caterer (Thanks Aunt Kathy), and our Florist (Thanks Aunt Kathy and Aunt Lisa!), and have the most wonderful site! Oh, and "Sandy"..."Sandy" is fierce.
And THE REAL DRESS. Bye bye Sabine. This one is LEGIT. I won't spoil it for you all, but I am just going to say...it is fabulous!!!
Now to loose the weight...
FOOD:
apple bread (BAD)
4 coffees (EH)
green beans (GOOD)
chicken (EH)
Salad
Soup
WINE, lots of wine (GOOD!)
2 oreos (AWESOME)
To the gym tomorrow.....
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
The Great North Carolina peeing adventure.
So as you all know, Matt and I embarked on a road trip down to the Tarheel State for a little wedding planning. We left in the evening and worked our way down 95 over the course of the night. Matt drove from Providence to the Virgina state line, where I took over.
110 miles into my leg of the drive. I had to pee. As I pulled into the gas station Matt jerked awake and balked at my bladder's need to release...I had been chugging redbull and coffee..what did he expect? Leaving him in the car, I take care of my business and climb back into the drivers seat and off we go again.
110 miles later, as I am turning on the blinker for the next pit stop, Matt awakes again. "Really? You have to go AGAIN?" He exclaims.
Well, duh... My thinking is that I had almost made it to getting off 95, the potty was my reward...wrong. Matt argued that we were so close to getting off 95 it made no sense to get off right now just to get back on again. I bought it.
Damn it.
45 minutes later we are off 95. I'm sweating, Crying, Shaking. And still have to pee. I pull off at the first informational sign that reads "GAS". It is 430am. On a random road in North Carolina...this is NOT promising.
15 minutes later...Still driving, somewhere in NC, in darkness. The sweat and tears are intensifying, I am sure they are urine passing in any way my body sees possible at this point. I begin to feel the doom setting in...I am going to pee my pants.
At least I have a change of clothes.
When there it is...glowing in the darkness like a magical steel building of dreams and potties. A beautiful illuminated gas station. And wait, there is an attendant! I swerve into the lot, slam into park, and run to the doors.
LOCKED.
"WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYY!!! I start screaming/crying beating on the glass doors..."HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!"
"We don't open till 7:00" The attendant mouths to me.
"WHAT!!! YOU #$%@ing piece of #&$*. I will pee on your @#$^ing wall you @*&% &**^%$$!" er...something like that.
I run to the car where Matt has now positioned himself in the drivers seat...
"Closed?" He casually asks.
I loose it. I am balled up rocking in the passenger seat, the dialogue goes something like this:
ME: "You better find a restroom before I pee all over your upholstery!"
MATT: "Can't you just pee in a Gatorade bottle?"
ME: "WHAT!?"
MATT: "Just go in the Gatorade bottle...ya know, hold it up against it..."
ME: "I don't know where it comes from!"
MATT: "WHAT? Your 26 years old, and you 'don't know where it comes from?!"
ME: "SHUDDUP! HELP ME JESUS!!! IM GONNA PEE MYSELF!!!!"
ME: "I'M GONNA PASS OUT AND PEE EVERYWHERE!"
ME: "AHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I DON'T WANT TO PEE IN THE CAR"
We pull over to the side of the road...at this point I have my pants off...I figured it would mean less stuff covered in pee.
I jump out and hang my naked ass over a guard rail and just let it go....just me in a white tanktop, engagement ring and the man on the moon enjoying a nice outdoor pee....Praying that the highway patrol doesn't drive up and arrest me for indecent pee-sposure.
I know what your thinking...that is one classy bride.
110 miles into my leg of the drive. I had to pee. As I pulled into the gas station Matt jerked awake and balked at my bladder's need to release...I had been chugging redbull and coffee..what did he expect? Leaving him in the car, I take care of my business and climb back into the drivers seat and off we go again.
110 miles later, as I am turning on the blinker for the next pit stop, Matt awakes again. "Really? You have to go AGAIN?" He exclaims.
Well, duh... My thinking is that I had almost made it to getting off 95, the potty was my reward...wrong. Matt argued that we were so close to getting off 95 it made no sense to get off right now just to get back on again. I bought it.
Damn it.
45 minutes later we are off 95. I'm sweating, Crying, Shaking. And still have to pee. I pull off at the first informational sign that reads "GAS". It is 430am. On a random road in North Carolina...this is NOT promising.
15 minutes later...Still driving, somewhere in NC, in darkness. The sweat and tears are intensifying, I am sure they are urine passing in any way my body sees possible at this point. I begin to feel the doom setting in...I am going to pee my pants.
At least I have a change of clothes.
When there it is...glowing in the darkness like a magical steel building of dreams and potties. A beautiful illuminated gas station. And wait, there is an attendant! I swerve into the lot, slam into park, and run to the doors.
LOCKED.
"WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYY!!! I start screaming/crying beating on the glass doors..."HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!"
"We don't open till 7:00" The attendant mouths to me.
"WHAT!!! YOU #$%@ing piece of #&$*. I will pee on your @#$^ing wall you @*&% &**^%$$!" er...something like that.
I run to the car where Matt has now positioned himself in the drivers seat...
"Closed?" He casually asks.
I loose it. I am balled up rocking in the passenger seat, the dialogue goes something like this:
ME: "You better find a restroom before I pee all over your upholstery!"
MATT: "Can't you just pee in a Gatorade bottle?"
ME: "WHAT!?"
MATT: "Just go in the Gatorade bottle...ya know, hold it up against it..."
ME: "I don't know where it comes from!"
MATT: "WHAT? Your 26 years old, and you 'don't know where it comes from?!"
ME: "SHUDDUP! HELP ME JESUS!!! IM GONNA PEE MYSELF!!!!"
ME: "I'M GONNA PASS OUT AND PEE EVERYWHERE!"
ME: "AHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I DON'T WANT TO PEE IN THE CAR"
We pull over to the side of the road...at this point I have my pants off...I figured it would mean less stuff covered in pee.
I jump out and hang my naked ass over a guard rail and just let it go....just me in a white tanktop, engagement ring and the man on the moon enjoying a nice outdoor pee....Praying that the highway patrol doesn't drive up and arrest me for indecent pee-sposure.
I know what your thinking...that is one classy bride.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I fell off the wagon and that shit HURT.
So guess what. I joined a gym.
Guess why, cuz I'm fat again.
Here it is: the number:
189.
Yup that's right kids. I started gaining it all back. But I am determined. I am armed with a little key faub. The key faub of dreams. That gains me admittance into "the gym". So here I go...
I did 50 minutes on the elliptical and some serious arm training and ab work. I HURT.
Food:
fiber one breakfast bar
salad with peaches, greens, tomatoes, lamb sausage, cukes, and champaign vinaigrette.
meat and cheese, pork tenderloin stuffed with homemade pesto and ham.
water water water
coffee with splenda and skinny vanilla coffee creamer
glass of white wine
Guess why, cuz I'm fat again.
Here it is: the number:
189.
Yup that's right kids. I started gaining it all back. But I am determined. I am armed with a little key faub. The key faub of dreams. That gains me admittance into "the gym". So here I go...
I did 50 minutes on the elliptical and some serious arm training and ab work. I HURT.
Food:
fiber one breakfast bar
salad with peaches, greens, tomatoes, lamb sausage, cukes, and champaign vinaigrette.
meat and cheese, pork tenderloin stuffed with homemade pesto and ham.
water water water
coffee with splenda and skinny vanilla coffee creamer
glass of white wine
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Help Me.
I'm fat.
I ate grilled chicken salad for dinner.
Then I ate an entire box of triscuits. And considered taking out the low fat cheese nips.
The only reason I didn't was because they said "Low Fat".
I knew they would only make me hungrier.
This is my cry for help people.
I ate grilled chicken salad for dinner.
Then I ate an entire box of triscuits. And considered taking out the low fat cheese nips.
The only reason I didn't was because they said "Low Fat".
I knew they would only make me hungrier.
This is my cry for help people.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
I'm the Carb.
SO. Skinny Bride Fails this weekend. But in my defense. There was a dinner party.
A Food Network Themed Dinner Party.
And I was Paula Dean.
I made fried pickles and fried squash with super secret dipping sauce (AKA ranch+hot sauce) and Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding.
That's right folks Krispy Friggin Kreme Friggin Bread Pudding. Uh, Yes please. I had a recipe, but I ran out of milk so I used french vanilla coffee creamer with eggs as my custard (ain't I resourceful?). It was SO unbelievably good. It made my arteries contract in the way only the best (most fattening) food does....mmmmmmm.
As bad/awesome as this menu sounds...it gets better. The boys made steak fajitas, lemon grilled chicken over tomatoes and greens, corn casserole, garlic green beans, crab deviled eggs, and build your own fruit cobbler (I had it sans fruit). FOR 5 PEOPLE. We like food. We like it alot. We ate ourselves into near carb comas, as we all laid back in our chairs rubbing our bloated bellies and groaning, yet still spooning bread pudding and crumble in our mouths.....GROSS. But gross in the best way possible.
We tried to burn some calories by playing a game of apples to apples, but somehow I got the nickname "Carb" out of it, and one of the buttons popped off my shorts...Irony is a bitch sometimes. I was just thankful that I had a secondary closure for my britches, or that would have been real embarrassing,
Today I had a fatty hangover (similar to the day after Thanksgiving) so I was feeling pretty sluggish, tired, and nauseated.
That's the last time I eat KKBP topped with ice cream and oatmeal cookie crumbles after gorging on 7 courses of food.
To make myself feel better I ate chocolate cake with Matt's family. With ice cream. Two types of ice cream.
My pants are unbuttoned in preventative measures, no projectile buttons here.
I promise to be a good fat bride tomorrow. I will even get on wii fit. I will even let wii fit call me obese. I need a fat reality check.
A Food Network Themed Dinner Party.
And I was Paula Dean.
I made fried pickles and fried squash with super secret dipping sauce (AKA ranch+hot sauce) and Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding.
That's right folks Krispy Friggin Kreme Friggin Bread Pudding. Uh, Yes please. I had a recipe, but I ran out of milk so I used french vanilla coffee creamer with eggs as my custard (ain't I resourceful?). It was SO unbelievably good. It made my arteries contract in the way only the best (most fattening) food does....mmmmmmm.
As bad/awesome as this menu sounds...it gets better. The boys made steak fajitas, lemon grilled chicken over tomatoes and greens, corn casserole, garlic green beans, crab deviled eggs, and build your own fruit cobbler (I had it sans fruit). FOR 5 PEOPLE. We like food. We like it alot. We ate ourselves into near carb comas, as we all laid back in our chairs rubbing our bloated bellies and groaning, yet still spooning bread pudding and crumble in our mouths.....GROSS. But gross in the best way possible.
We tried to burn some calories by playing a game of apples to apples, but somehow I got the nickname "Carb" out of it, and one of the buttons popped off my shorts...Irony is a bitch sometimes. I was just thankful that I had a secondary closure for my britches, or that would have been real embarrassing,
Today I had a fatty hangover (similar to the day after Thanksgiving) so I was feeling pretty sluggish, tired, and nauseated.
That's the last time I eat KKBP topped with ice cream and oatmeal cookie crumbles after gorging on 7 courses of food.
To make myself feel better I ate chocolate cake with Matt's family. With ice cream. Two types of ice cream.
My pants are unbuttoned in preventative measures, no projectile buttons here.
I promise to be a good fat bride tomorrow. I will even get on wii fit. I will even let wii fit call me obese. I need a fat reality check.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Busy Busy Busy
So as I am making the big trip to NC this month, I have been busy contacting vendors, photographers, bakers, and of course planning a baby shower for my big sis. On the wedding planning front, I have spoken with two caterers, am planning site visits everywhere I can. The private land we are looking at is easy to visit, and we are all set there. Finding the contact rep for other places is proving to be harder than one would think.
Anyone know who I should contact to look at Camp Mitchell as a possible site?
How about the Crystal Coast Amphetheater?
Anyone with information regarding either site will be rewarded with a shout out from me, a huge hug, AND a photo of me doing Carmen Electra's striptease workout posted on this website. You are really searching now eh?
Also, hopefully we have found our photographer. (Fingers crossed) We love her work, and we really hope we can afford her. More details after we find out....
The trip is going to be a whirlwind of meetings, planning, and seeing family...but I know it will be worth it!
I am still in love with Sabine, so looking at other dresses is hard. I have fallen in love with this veil though...
Isn't it just magical? I haven't really tried on anything so far, but I really like the vintage look, something that will really fit in with the overall them of our wedding. I found it on http://twigsandhoney.com The site is unbelievable. It has gorgeous hairpieces of all types...some really great inspiration for my DIY veil...if I could just find the right netting. Do you know how hard it is to find Russian veiling? Well, it is ya'll. Although I love the flower on this girl, I really want to make my own headpiece, hopefully adding a little sparkle with a piece of my great grandmothers jewelry. I know how much she will be missed on the big day, so I am really trying to incorporate her in to as many aspects of the day as I can. Although getting wedding stuff done is important for the trip, my favorite part of going home is seeing family, and finally seeing sister's belly!
The baby shower will be super low key, but I know she will enjoy it, and hopefully get some much needed support from everyone who comes. Plus, we are auditioning a cake man...I can't wait for cake!
Fitness is back. I wii fitted...
Diet is back. I'm eating lettuce and grilled chicken....
Ugh.
Anyone know who I should contact to look at Camp Mitchell as a possible site?
How about the Crystal Coast Amphetheater?
Anyone with information regarding either site will be rewarded with a shout out from me, a huge hug, AND a photo of me doing Carmen Electra's striptease workout posted on this website. You are really searching now eh?
Also, hopefully we have found our photographer. (Fingers crossed) We love her work, and we really hope we can afford her. More details after we find out....
The trip is going to be a whirlwind of meetings, planning, and seeing family...but I know it will be worth it!
I am still in love with Sabine, so looking at other dresses is hard. I have fallen in love with this veil though...
Isn't it just magical? I haven't really tried on anything so far, but I really like the vintage look, something that will really fit in with the overall them of our wedding. I found it on http://twigsandhoney.com The site is unbelievable. It has gorgeous hairpieces of all types...some really great inspiration for my DIY veil...if I could just find the right netting. Do you know how hard it is to find Russian veiling? Well, it is ya'll. Although I love the flower on this girl, I really want to make my own headpiece, hopefully adding a little sparkle with a piece of my great grandmothers jewelry. I know how much she will be missed on the big day, so I am really trying to incorporate her in to as many aspects of the day as I can. Although getting wedding stuff done is important for the trip, my favorite part of going home is seeing family, and finally seeing sister's belly!
The baby shower will be super low key, but I know she will enjoy it, and hopefully get some much needed support from everyone who comes. Plus, we are auditioning a cake man...I can't wait for cake!
Fitness is back. I wii fitted...
Diet is back. I'm eating lettuce and grilled chicken....
Ugh.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Worst Diet Ever.
Um, I mean worst dietER ever.
I don't get it. It all started off good. Half a bagel brushed with olive oil and an all fruit smoothie...and then...
I went on a bad food eating spree. For real. I have been shoving pizza, BBQ, coleslaw, cupcakes...ANYTHING in my face that I possibly can. I am confessing my foodsins now...please forgive me thighs, butt, and gut.
Hi my name is Fat Bride Slim, and I am a emotional/stress/boredom eater. This is the badge I wear in the center of my big fatty fat ass. Thankfully, I have only been relapsed for a few days, but still. It weighs on me like the size 14 that is still in my closet "just in case". After you have the first horrible decision of the day....baked mac and cheese topped with BBQ (hey stop judging, it was DELICIOUS) it just kinda snowballs and I decide the only way to not eat bad anymore is to eat all the bad in the house...FAIL. So now, it's dinnertime and I know that the entire day is a wash...so why not just order fried chicken and french fries and start from scratch tomorrow with the promise of a good day.
Damn. Mama wants fried. Stat. I need a bad wedding dress experience to make me healthy again. Dang Sabine made me feel all pretty and awesome, now I'm cocky and don't want to trim up anymore. I need a bodyguard for my fridge, someone to protect it's contents from getting in my belly. I will then need that bodyguard to chase me down the street for preferably 2-3 miles so I will exercise too.
So here goes. Tomorrow is a new day. A day where I will do SOME form of exercise and not eat everything in my house (mostly because I ate it all today).
I don't get it. It all started off good. Half a bagel brushed with olive oil and an all fruit smoothie...and then...
I went on a bad food eating spree. For real. I have been shoving pizza, BBQ, coleslaw, cupcakes...ANYTHING in my face that I possibly can. I am confessing my foodsins now...please forgive me thighs, butt, and gut.
Hi my name is Fat Bride Slim, and I am a emotional/stress/boredom eater. This is the badge I wear in the center of my big fatty fat ass. Thankfully, I have only been relapsed for a few days, but still. It weighs on me like the size 14 that is still in my closet "just in case". After you have the first horrible decision of the day....baked mac and cheese topped with BBQ (hey stop judging, it was DELICIOUS) it just kinda snowballs and I decide the only way to not eat bad anymore is to eat all the bad in the house...FAIL. So now, it's dinnertime and I know that the entire day is a wash...so why not just order fried chicken and french fries and start from scratch tomorrow with the promise of a good day.
Damn. Mama wants fried. Stat. I need a bad wedding dress experience to make me healthy again. Dang Sabine made me feel all pretty and awesome, now I'm cocky and don't want to trim up anymore. I need a bodyguard for my fridge, someone to protect it's contents from getting in my belly. I will then need that bodyguard to chase me down the street for preferably 2-3 miles so I will exercise too.
So here goes. Tomorrow is a new day. A day where I will do SOME form of exercise and not eat everything in my house (mostly because I ate it all today).
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
In the Name of Beauty
I have grey hair. I have ALOT of grey hair. I am sitting in front of this computer complaining about my grey hair whilst dyeing my grey hair. Just the greys. I am terrified to do all over color on my hair in fear that it will turn into shredded wheat and fall out of my head. So I sit medusa'ed and wait to see if my dye resistant grey hair will accept the stinky crap sitting on my head burning a little.
I have a mustache. Most people don't notice my mustache (affectionately called Mr. Tracy by my high school boyfriend forever scarring me and my facial hair), but I do. I see it when I brush my teeth, when I am putting on makeup, when I floss...all the time. I have thought about waxing him, but I am sure that if I do it will only anger him and make it grow back in a full on fumanchoo, forcing me to join the circus and make children cry as the bearded..er...mustached lady. So instead I bleach him. Right now. I am using a ton of it, so it will either turn white (preferable) or be chemically burned off my lip forever (more painful but equally preferable). So here I sit, in front of the computer with medusa hair and a white bleach mustache that both burn and are making me a little high. For Real. If it will make you laugh harder imagine me doing a dance...in orange boxers with chickens all over them and a hot pink tube top...BINGO! I just made you day.
Did I mention my eyebrow? I get my eyebrow hair ripped out of my face biweekly, because without it, the two man made ones morph into my God made single one, similar to a giant catapiller. I am so sexy when I let myself go...who wouldn't want to marry an old grey mustached lady with 1 eyebrow...good thing Matt does.
So this is what I do for beauty. I hide all the Steve Tracy that I apparently inherited...grey hair, crazy mustache...thanks for the genetics dad. (But I thank you for real for the dark eyes, sense of humor, huge heart, and awesome smile...If one would say I posses those qualities). What do men do? HUH? What's up guys...how about your groom YOUR unibrow? Or shave (and maintain) the hair on your legs...aka MOST OF MY BODY...? All you have to do is put on deoderant (if we're lucky) and put gel in your hair...I scoff at your hair gel. I blow dry (in 90 degree weather without AC), flat iron, defrizz, and seal with humidity resistant hairspray..all which aint cheap buddys...and you use hairgel....bah. Anyways. Matt would still love me even if I got all Megor'ed out (Megor is my troll like alter ego who loves potato chips and ice cream and burping. Megor does not groom), at least I hope so...
I am assuming a major part of my wedding planning will also be a brigade of coiffing, grooming, and assuring myself there will be no chance of the return of Mr. Meg T. I can hear the vows now...
"Do you Matt, take this mustache..."
No thank you.
I need to refigure my budget for all this grooming.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Can I Get Yo Digits?
So yesterday was a rough day. Especially on my digits.
You know your a fat girl when you get two food related injuries in the same day.
Injury #1: With a grocery cart filled with food. I am making my way down the bread aisle (obviously) when BAM. I rolled over my own toe with a grocery cart. Blood starts seeping out of my flip flop, and as I limp over to the bread man, there are 3 other Stop and Shop men surrounding me. One guy is wiping down my shoe, the other three fighting over the best way to bandage my ring toe. I felt like the Cinderella of the Bread and Bun aisle. I believe I left the toe nail in the bread aisle, and was able to continue my shopping with barely a limp...carbs are attacking my body in a whole new way...usually they just effect my waistline, now they are going for blood.
Injury #2: At Matt's suggestion, instead of buying preshredded cabbage for cole slaw, I am shredding it on his kitchen mandolin. Please see photo:
THIS IS A DEATH BLADE. This is the death blade responsible for removing the end of my pinky finger. Yeah, you read it correctly...I cut off the tip of my FRIGGIN pinky with this helpful kitchen apparatus. I was just shredding away at some cabbage and then ZIP...bye bye pinky tip + nail. But it's ok, I was wearing blue nail polish so it was easy to find it in the kitchen sink. The cole slaw was finger free.
I had no idea pinky fingers were filled with so much blood...it was gushing...pretty scary stuff..but after holding it above my head for a couple of hours it finally stopped. Good thing Matt is so good at dressing kitchen mishaps. The good news is that your fingertips regenerate! So I will have a normal pinky again in no time!
I need to rest my pinky now.
You know your a fat girl when you get two food related injuries in the same day.
Injury #1: With a grocery cart filled with food. I am making my way down the bread aisle (obviously) when BAM. I rolled over my own toe with a grocery cart. Blood starts seeping out of my flip flop, and as I limp over to the bread man, there are 3 other Stop and Shop men surrounding me. One guy is wiping down my shoe, the other three fighting over the best way to bandage my ring toe. I felt like the Cinderella of the Bread and Bun aisle. I believe I left the toe nail in the bread aisle, and was able to continue my shopping with barely a limp...carbs are attacking my body in a whole new way...usually they just effect my waistline, now they are going for blood.
Injury #2: At Matt's suggestion, instead of buying preshredded cabbage for cole slaw, I am shredding it on his kitchen mandolin. Please see photo:
THIS IS A DEATH BLADE. This is the death blade responsible for removing the end of my pinky finger. Yeah, you read it correctly...I cut off the tip of my FRIGGIN pinky with this helpful kitchen apparatus. I was just shredding away at some cabbage and then ZIP...bye bye pinky tip + nail. But it's ok, I was wearing blue nail polish so it was easy to find it in the kitchen sink. The cole slaw was finger free. I had no idea pinky fingers were filled with so much blood...it was gushing...pretty scary stuff..but after holding it above my head for a couple of hours it finally stopped. Good thing Matt is so good at dressing kitchen mishaps. The good news is that your fingertips regenerate! So I will have a normal pinky again in no time!
I need to rest my pinky now.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thrown of Lies
I have something to get off my chest. As a fat girl, I enjoy food network. I love Paula Deen and her need to deep fry everything. I love that she has a recipe for a Krispy Kreme Hamburger, and that her waistline makes me know that it is not a good idea to cook one for myself. I love Tyler Florence, and how his belly has increased with the popularity of his show. I even respect Rachel Ray and her roundness, even though I am pretty sure she is among the most annoying humans on earth. What I do not love, or respect is Giada DeLaurentes. She is a lying whore. There is no FRIGGIN way she eats all those carbs and keeps her body smaller than her head. NO EFFING WAY. There is no way she chows down on homemade fried mozzarella (pronounced in italian, but continue sounding american when reading the rest of this.) and stays a size two. NO WAY she can even taste one friggin bite of the cheesecake and canolis on a regular basis and not be the size of Mrs. Deen. SO guess what Giada...your a lying whore. And if you aren't a lying whore, please enlighten us fatties who make the food YOU cook, and somehow are writing blogs called FAT BRIDE SLIM, and don't say you just do crunches, because that is bullshit. Just tell the truth Giada. You sit on a thrown of lies.
And PS. Put your boobies away skank.
Moving on.
So yesterday. I bought a size 10! YAY! In skinny jeans! DOUBLE YAY! I am not sure what I did (as I have been a disgusting techie lately), but I did it. It simply MUST be my butt shoes. I do feel the burn on a daily basis, and they are pretty awesome. (I know what I didn't do. Make one of that lying skank's recipes...thrown of lies, Giada) I haven't been eating the healthiest, and I have been drinking a little more than usual, but it's summertime tech week, and it happens.
As far as planning is concerned, I have been pretty busy lately, so apologies. I know inspiration will hit pretty hard now that I have the new play opened. It's also much easier to use a glue gun when it's not 400 degrees inside your house.
Finally, birthday shout out to J Tray. Thanks for following and for going to David's Bridal with me. Without you I would have slit my wrists and ruined a shit ton of tulle.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
DIY Deathtrap
So this is the inspiration board, AKA my homework from "Sandy". Let me know what you think about the details...I am still building and tweaking, but its a start to get all my ideas down...ya know? Feedback is loved, and I hope you like it! Matt helped too!
I have a obsession with buying scrapbook paper to make my pinwheels with. I actually think I have more paper than I need to make 150 pinwheels, but I get in that aisle at Michaels Crafts and I just loose my mind. All the pretty colors and patterns...it's hypnotic. Before I know it, I have poppy printed pearl finished paper sitting on my craft table. I swear Michaels must by pumping some kinda of hallucinogen into that aisle. Not that I am complaining. Poppy printed pearl finished paper will make one hell of a pinwheel. Michaels is a DIY Bride death trap. I go in, and just become a crazy woman, I find myself in the rhinestone section just enthralled by all the sparkle...I don't know where there will be sparkle, but 2 packs of fake rhinestones and a bag of 250 gluesticks say "THERE WILL BE SPARKLE". I want to buy feathers...why? I have no idea, but I love feathers? I just walk around, aisle by aisle in a daze, like Dorothy over the Rainbow, envisioning homemade paper flower garlands, custom hair pieces for me and my entire Bridal Party, banners, signs, giant letters that are also boxes (why? No Clue, but they are kinda cool), glitter! in every color of fall. With lots of sparkles. Like I said, DIY Deathtrap.
Fitness is coming in the form of moving furniture for the play lately, as I have been crazy busy as we go into Tech Week at work. I am so excited to get this play all lit and pretty...but it means I might be MIA for a week or so while slammed at work. I will wear my Butt Shoes all weekend though, so it will give me a little extra oompf that I would not be getting in Non-Butt Shoes. I love my Butt Shoes. They are so legit. By the time I had walked to work, I was BURNIN! And it. was. good. By the end of the day, I was sore and could feel my hammis just begging for relief. And all I had to do was friggin walk! Thank you Reebok! Take that Jillian Friggin Michaels! Ya know what Bob, I will smile as I work out now, cuz I'm walkin on sunshine (and 16 pods of air).
I am so proud that I have continued my healthy eating throughout this week, last night I went out to dinner with my faves (J. Tray, and Stephen) and chose my dinner so wisely that our waitress complimented and could tell I was obviously trying to loose for a wedding...she also complimented my big ol' rock! Instead of getting a giant meal, or a carb loaded sandwich, I ordered sauteed spinach, grilled asparagus, and garlic mashed taters. The taters, not the healthiest, but it beats french fries. When I met with my cast for drinks later, I chose vodka and tonic (less cals)rather than super calorie beer. Don't worry mama, I didnt drink too much.
Today I had 1/2 a falafal wrap and some pita chips, saved the rest for dinner tomorrow! Water Water Water! I snacked on string cheese. Tech week eating wise is a little bittersweet. I have no time or mental capacity to eat, but it means I just shove whatever people drop off for me in my mouth while walking around or running to the bathroom. I typically drop some serious lbs during tech, but I am trying to keep it healthy, so we will see...
I haven't weighed in a while, but I am planning on it tomorrow....eeks. I will let ya know how THAT goes...
Finally, welcome new followers! I am so excited to see people starting to follow! Thanks for be interested in my life a little!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
BUTT SHOES ROCK
I love my butt shoes. I am officially sore from a pair of sneakers. Nothing more. My hamstrings and butt hurt. Yay Butt Shoes!
I have been working on my wedding canvas for my homework from "Sandy". I will post my inspiration board as soon as I am complete.
I have been healthy for 2 days. Yay Me.
I have been working on my wedding canvas for my homework from "Sandy". I will post my inspiration board as soon as I am complete.
I have been healthy for 2 days. Yay Me.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Cookies and Butt Shoes
Sorry I have been a deadbeat bride blogger, I was really busy passing two, YES TWO! Kidney stones this past week. I am working on being on the mend, but one of the side effects of my narcotic induced stuper is the sweet tooth from hell, which I rarely remember. Apparently, I went on an ice cream and cookie feeding frenzy, which I fail to recollect. If I don't remember shoving food into my mouth, did it really happen? Oh, I am sure that a jury of my peers would agree that I am guilty as charged of being a weak, diet cheater. I mean, that guy on CSI murdered his wife whilst sleep walking and didn't remember (SO guilty), so I am sure that my sleep/vicodin induced binge eating is the same...so here I am, guilty as charged. Convicted Fat-Felon.
Needless to say I spent the last week of life laying around, moaning, and chugging enough water fill up Shamoo's tank. This means I feel waterbloated, lazy, and fatty fat fat. The GOOD news is they're here. My butt shoes. I cannot wait to put these babies to the test. I wore them twice, no result as of yet...but I am sure that has something to do with my Gluttonous Cookie Craving Behavior. I will wear the shit out of them this week and will send out a report as needed. The good news is, they look really cool.
In wedding planning news, I hired a planner. For reals ya'll. I want to be in a state of bridal bliss being pampered and ignorant to the fact that the florist is late, or that someone took their 400 pound dog for a walk on the site that morning and left a wedding "gift", or that there was any issue ever during the whole day. These are things I will not be worried about. Matt is the most supportive about hiring Sandy, he just wants me to be a cool, calm, and collected Meggie on the big day. We ALL know this is never going to happen unless I am shot with a tranquilizer gun...but we can pretend that it will.
Also, we have a cake stand. Leaps and Bounds in the planning department I know, but really, where else does a fat bride start?
Needless to say I spent the last week of life laying around, moaning, and chugging enough water fill up Shamoo's tank. This means I feel waterbloated, lazy, and fatty fat fat. The GOOD news is they're here. My butt shoes. I cannot wait to put these babies to the test. I wore them twice, no result as of yet...but I am sure that has something to do with my Gluttonous Cookie Craving Behavior. I will wear the shit out of them this week and will send out a report as needed. The good news is, they look really cool.
In wedding planning news, I hired a planner. For reals ya'll. I want to be in a state of bridal bliss being pampered and ignorant to the fact that the florist is late, or that someone took their 400 pound dog for a walk on the site that morning and left a wedding "gift", or that there was any issue ever during the whole day. These are things I will not be worried about. Matt is the most supportive about hiring Sandy, he just wants me to be a cool, calm, and collected Meggie on the big day. We ALL know this is never going to happen unless I am shot with a tranquilizer gun...but we can pretend that it will.
Also, we have a cake stand. Leaps and Bounds in the planning department I know, but really, where else does a fat bride start?
Thursday, July 1, 2010
175 Oh my!
It's amazing how seeing a number on a scale that you have wanted to see so badly can make you feel. I have lost 18 pounds. Thats crazy! I have a little skip in my step.. I have a tune in my head....and most importantly I have my new Reebok Butt Shoes being shipped to me! I cannot wait to feel the burn! I will commentate on how much burn, butt shape, cellulite status, if my cankles have decreased...ect.... plus they are super cute!
Exercise has been ok...I lifted weights and did squats and lunges during the Bachelorette, until they olive oil wrestled. I stopped for a little bit to really watch that (sorry Matt). But then I continued. I've been trying to "burn out" (Bob's lingo, not mine) my triceps, they are one of my problem areas. This means that it hurts to lift my arms at all, and that I have to sleep mummy style so that I don't put any weight on them. Speaking of Bob, I think I need to reunite with him soon...I kinda miss the guy and his crazy need for me to smile while sweating my ass off..I need a Bob to follow me around and yell "DON'T EAT THAT FATTY!" Whenever I reach for a donut. And then after humiliating me publicly and making me cry, he will follow up with "It's OK Meg, let me see you SMILE!" What an A-hole. Maybe I don't need a Bob to follow me around.
On Monday, Kara(FSIL: Future Sister in Law) and I went to J Crew for a wedding dress adventure. It was INCREDIBLE! First off, Joan, my wedding dress consultant, was amazing. She was attentive, and honest, and she new Sabine (explained soon). Even though they only had sample sizes, I was able to get all of them on, and could actually tell what it looked like, even if I was clipped in. There was not one moment of horror or humiliation when I tried on a dress. It was lovely, it was...dare I say fun? I felt pretty. I felt skinny. Is this what the big deal is about cuz if so I LIKE IT!
And most importantly, I may have found THE. DRESS. Her name is Sabine (they are all named and called "she" at J Crew) and were are best friends. Sabine is ivory silk taffeta, with a rouched sweetheart neckline...she is amazing. Her empire waisted A-line skirt makes me look small, yes me=small!!! I am not a size "jumbo" at J Crew, which I love, and I love how luxurious the gowns are without being a million dollars. Sabine and I may reunite again soon...we'll see...
I have been working on my Binder, cutting clipping, gluesticking, and after every page making Matt look at it. I am not sure how much longer he will put up with me shoving a giant white binder in his face every 3 minutes, but he is putting up with it for now. Continuing with my DIY adventures, I played with a super silly favor, that after it was complete couldn't help but making more...Ladies and Gents I present to you...
Yup, the most ridiculous thing I have ever come up with. AND I LOVE IT! Does everyone get it now? How NOT the normal wedding event this is? And on top of that how much friggin fun we are gonna have? I have two goals on the big day. Marry the man I am madly in love with, and have a dag-on good time.
And eat cake. Duh.
Exercise has been ok...I lifted weights and did squats and lunges during the Bachelorette, until they olive oil wrestled. I stopped for a little bit to really watch that (sorry Matt). But then I continued. I've been trying to "burn out" (Bob's lingo, not mine) my triceps, they are one of my problem areas. This means that it hurts to lift my arms at all, and that I have to sleep mummy style so that I don't put any weight on them. Speaking of Bob, I think I need to reunite with him soon...I kinda miss the guy and his crazy need for me to smile while sweating my ass off..I need a Bob to follow me around and yell "DON'T EAT THAT FATTY!" Whenever I reach for a donut. And then after humiliating me publicly and making me cry, he will follow up with "It's OK Meg, let me see you SMILE!" What an A-hole. Maybe I don't need a Bob to follow me around.
On Monday, Kara(FSIL: Future Sister in Law) and I went to J Crew for a wedding dress adventure. It was INCREDIBLE! First off, Joan, my wedding dress consultant, was amazing. She was attentive, and honest, and she new Sabine (explained soon). Even though they only had sample sizes, I was able to get all of them on, and could actually tell what it looked like, even if I was clipped in. There was not one moment of horror or humiliation when I tried on a dress. It was lovely, it was...dare I say fun? I felt pretty. I felt skinny. Is this what the big deal is about cuz if so I LIKE IT!
And most importantly, I may have found THE. DRESS. Her name is Sabine (they are all named and called "she" at J Crew) and were are best friends. Sabine is ivory silk taffeta, with a rouched sweetheart neckline...she is amazing. Her empire waisted A-line skirt makes me look small, yes me=small!!! I am not a size "jumbo" at J Crew, which I love, and I love how luxurious the gowns are without being a million dollars. Sabine and I may reunite again soon...we'll see...
I have been working on my Binder, cutting clipping, gluesticking, and after every page making Matt look at it. I am not sure how much longer he will put up with me shoving a giant white binder in his face every 3 minutes, but he is putting up with it for now. Continuing with my DIY adventures, I played with a super silly favor, that after it was complete couldn't help but making more...Ladies and Gents I present to you...
Yup, the most ridiculous thing I have ever come up with. AND I LOVE IT! Does everyone get it now? How NOT the normal wedding event this is? And on top of that how much friggin fun we are gonna have? I have two goals on the big day. Marry the man I am madly in love with, and have a dag-on good time.
And eat cake. Duh.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
There's Water in Corona, Right?
So... I know I am supposed to be a weight loss crusader and all, but I LOVE Corona Light. It's Light right? That makes it healthier than say... an entire bucket of fried chicken? I think my issue comes when I drink, like 7 Corona lights, at which point I epically Fail the diet for the day.
Well, last night I was celebrating my awesome diet day with some lovely grilled filet (healthiest of the red meats) grilled veggies, and a delicious salad with homemade herbed apple cider vinaigrette. And a 6 pack of Corona Light. Topped off some Red Stripe Light...YES. That's right. Red. Stripe. Light. They finally made it. And I like it.
Unfortunately, my gut does too. I'm pretty sure I rock the perfect beer gut.
Everyone says to cut out the alcohol. But I have a very VERY good argument. I don't wanna.
I haven't been the Night Snacker lately. Mainly because I have eaten all the food in my house. Well all the GOOD food at least. No more cookies, chips, snacks of any sort. Now if I want to Night Snack I have to eat...Healthy....and what is the point in that? There is hardly any joy in noshing on a celery stick in secret...not nearly the way that a cookie does. But when my fat is all contained in a dress, without looking like I've been stuffed in like a plump summer sausage...the lack of cookies will be sooo worth it. I know it. I KNOW IT OK?
Currently, dress shopping is so horrifying...so stressful...that I don't even know what I want anymore. I used to think I knew what I wanted, but every dress I put on makes me look like I either need to be working as a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, or like the fabric will explode, Incredible Hulk style, from attempting to breathe. Why don't dress shops carry sizes over a friggin 8? Obviously to make fat girls feel like shit. Well guess what Dress Shop? EF YOU.
Either way, I am trying on more dresses soon. My belief is that I find a dress that looks amazing now...when I reach my goal weight I will look AWESOME. Also, Matt keeps me from getting down about the dresses, always telling me that I am beautiful. And if he thinks I am, I know I will find something that will make him be so happy to marry me.
Take that skinny dress shop bitches...
Man, I need a Corona Light after reliving the dress trying on experiences, it's a vicious cycle right?
Well, last night I was celebrating my awesome diet day with some lovely grilled filet (healthiest of the red meats) grilled veggies, and a delicious salad with homemade herbed apple cider vinaigrette. And a 6 pack of Corona Light. Topped off some Red Stripe Light...YES. That's right. Red. Stripe. Light. They finally made it. And I like it.
Unfortunately, my gut does too. I'm pretty sure I rock the perfect beer gut.
Everyone says to cut out the alcohol. But I have a very VERY good argument. I don't wanna.
I haven't been the Night Snacker lately. Mainly because I have eaten all the food in my house. Well all the GOOD food at least. No more cookies, chips, snacks of any sort. Now if I want to Night Snack I have to eat...Healthy....and what is the point in that? There is hardly any joy in noshing on a celery stick in secret...not nearly the way that a cookie does. But when my fat is all contained in a dress, without looking like I've been stuffed in like a plump summer sausage...the lack of cookies will be sooo worth it. I know it. I KNOW IT OK?
Currently, dress shopping is so horrifying...so stressful...that I don't even know what I want anymore. I used to think I knew what I wanted, but every dress I put on makes me look like I either need to be working as a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, or like the fabric will explode, Incredible Hulk style, from attempting to breathe. Why don't dress shops carry sizes over a friggin 8? Obviously to make fat girls feel like shit. Well guess what Dress Shop? EF YOU.
Either way, I am trying on more dresses soon. My belief is that I find a dress that looks amazing now...when I reach my goal weight I will look AWESOME. Also, Matt keeps me from getting down about the dresses, always telling me that I am beautiful. And if he thinks I am, I know I will find something that will make him be so happy to marry me.
Take that skinny dress shop bitches...
Man, I need a Corona Light after reliving the dress trying on experiences, it's a vicious cycle right?
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Coffee Jerks and Goody Two Shoes
Dear Baristas,
Why do you think you are cooler than me? Just because you can make a grande espresso double latte mocha-frappa-whatta doesn't mean I should be scorned for merely ordering a $5.00 plain coffee, with splenda. What exactly about pouring coffee makes you feel that you have the right treat us normal non-coffee pourers like doggie doo? THIS is why I got to starbucks. They actually have the least pretentious "baristas" out of them all. Blue State Coffee in PVD is AWFUL. ALL meanies...ALL of them. No smiles, only "I'm too cool to smile at you because I'm a barista " smirks from these assholes. Well guess what Blue State Coffee...suck it. You aint get my $5.00 for a coffee. Nuh Uh...
Now that THAT'S off my chest...
I walk to work everyday (1.5 miles), but I am not so sure it's the quality of exercise that my wii fit would congratulate me for...I need to get my life back on track. The first week of a show is always wonky though...readjusting....walking up...being on time to places...I just have to schedule workouts into my schedule. Monday will be my day of readjustment. I stupidly decided to break in a new pair of super cute sandals yesterday. Now I have blisters the size of Skittles on the back of my feet. Super Cute Shoes=DEVIL sandals. I now know one thing for my wedding day...I will break in my shoes like woah...or that I should spend more than $11.00 on them...or BOTH!
wedding shoes...I have a couple of ideas...
The Not-So-Basic White Shoe....
Something Blue Shoes!!??
These are DANCING Shoes...as in Dancing With The Stars Shoes...I kinda love them, and the idea that they were designed for major time on the feet.
I love the how simple these appear..but the bow is so gorgeous!
And THESE....The Dreamiest Shoe of all the Shoes...these are ONLY if I can really reach my goal...but they are (sigh) Incredible....
Onward I go...with visions of Badgley Mischka dancing in my head...I know these are not the traditional dyeable pumps of tradition, but why start planning a traditional wedding with the shoes... especially shoes like these?
Why do you think you are cooler than me? Just because you can make a grande espresso double latte mocha-frappa-whatta doesn't mean I should be scorned for merely ordering a $5.00 plain coffee, with splenda. What exactly about pouring coffee makes you feel that you have the right treat us normal non-coffee pourers like doggie doo? THIS is why I got to starbucks. They actually have the least pretentious "baristas" out of them all. Blue State Coffee in PVD is AWFUL. ALL meanies...ALL of them. No smiles, only "I'm too cool to smile at you because I'm a barista " smirks from these assholes. Well guess what Blue State Coffee...suck it. You aint get my $5.00 for a coffee. Nuh Uh...
Now that THAT'S off my chest...
I walk to work everyday (1.5 miles), but I am not so sure it's the quality of exercise that my wii fit would congratulate me for...I need to get my life back on track. The first week of a show is always wonky though...readjusting....walking up...being on time to places...I just have to schedule workouts into my schedule. Monday will be my day of readjustment. I stupidly decided to break in a new pair of super cute sandals yesterday. Now I have blisters the size of Skittles on the back of my feet. Super Cute Shoes=DEVIL sandals. I now know one thing for my wedding day...I will break in my shoes like woah...or that I should spend more than $11.00 on them...or BOTH!
wedding shoes...I have a couple of ideas...
The Not-So-Basic White Shoe....
Something Blue Shoes!!??
These are DANCING Shoes...as in Dancing With The Stars Shoes...I kinda love them, and the idea that they were designed for major time on the feet.
I love the how simple these appear..but the bow is so gorgeous!
And THESE....The Dreamiest Shoe of all the Shoes...these are ONLY if I can really reach my goal...but they are (sigh) Incredible....
Onward I go...with visions of Badgley Mischka dancing in my head...I know these are not the traditional dyeable pumps of tradition, but why start planning a traditional wedding with the shoes... especially shoes like these?
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Hills Have Eyes, and 5 pound dumbells...
I like to lift weights while looking at skinny people. I do lunges, squats, and arm reps whilst watching "The Hills" and "The City" on MTV. Deep down, I know that Audrina does NOT work out...my assumption is she fills her body with vodka and tonic and doesn't eat other than that. Because I am a fat girl with a real job and cannot ever "do" that whole booze diet, I make myself workout while fulfilling my trashy TV addiction. I might just implement this rule for all trashy TV. Imagine if I lifted weights for all of the Bachelorette?! 2 hours of reps! HOLY ARMS! This MUST be healthier than what I usually do during the Bachelorette...scream at the tv about how cookoo bananas that Kasey guy was, talk about how busted Ali's weave is, and pretty much make fun of myself for watching it...but I love it...what was this blog about...?
Oh exercise. And Fat Brides.
Speaking of Fat Brides...when do I get to eat cake? Aren't there supposed to be cake tastings sometime? I want a cake dinner...NOW. I am looking at cakes all the time, which is why I am hungry all the time. How the heck can I loose weight when I have to make a "Cake Section" of the Wedding Binder, a whole neatly labeled section with nothing but photos of cakes....delicious, frosting topped, buttercream filled, wonderful looking, I will lick this sheet of paper photos...of CAKES...I'm so screwed. Here are some I found today....
I love this white cake...simple...but look at that ICING! I just want to SHOVE my FACE IN!!!
Matt and I both Love this super fun yellow cake!
How about a Cupcake Cake?
Ok, Im starving...salad for me, but I'll pretend it's cake...
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Legend of the Night Snacker
Fat Ass Bride Photograph compliments of slimfast. I will be printing it and posting it on every piece of food in my kitchen.
By day, I am Meg, the smoothie drinking, salad eating, exercising machine. By night I am...The Night Snacker. It's my evil alter-ego...Stuffing my face with anything in my path. Syanara PIZZA! Ciao POTATO CHIPS! CAKE? YOUR MINE!!! I run around the house, like a ninja, darting from shadow to shadow looking for innocent pieces of junk food to hostilely take over. Batman couldn't protect a brownie in this house, I will find a way. Also, when I am eating healthy, I wake up, from a dead sleep, in the middle of the night and eat chips in bed. My finace has no idea. Except sometimes I fall back asleep and leave the evidence laying next to the bed...(Matt, look at the empty pita chips bag on my side...Now) I have a problem. My alter-ego is taking over.
I need an intervention. I need a group of safe and loving people to hog tie me, and carry me off to the Betty Crocker Rehab Clinic...mama LOVES to eat. Especially after 9:00pm.
In Wedding News...all of our dream venues are not possible. Good thing I am obsessed with planning my wedding so we are finding all this information out now...I know the venue will find us... especially if it happens to be a junk food stand that is open past 9:00pm. If the Night Snacker were planning the wedding, we'd be getting married in the Lil Debbie Cake aisle of the 7eleven. Thank goodness I am Meg during the day when real decisions are gettin made.
My poll of the week. As a guest at a wedding would you be disappointed if some of the traditions (ex: garter collecting and toss, the bouquet toss...ect) were not included? The idea of Matt fishing around up my dress in front of my Blue Granny and Papa kinda horrifies me... of your personal wedding day, did it seem like a "must have" event?
Anyways. I will finish my smoothie (strawberries, whole banana, mango, blueberries, raspberries, watermelon) and then hit up the exercise before walking to work. Hopefully I can fend off the Night Snacker tonight...wish me luck...
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Cheat day...
So yesterday was a wash... I started out good, going outside, drinking smoothies, getting some sun, going on a 2 mile walk...
And then I drank. And drank. And drank. And then drinking led to pizza of course. So there I was at 2am drunk and eating pizza...no good.
Today I was hungover. So I picked at food and was nauseated and tired all day...I had some wine and yummy cheese this evening to cure it.
The good news is I walked about 6 miles today. Hungover. It sucks. Your thirsty. Your head hurts. And you want to beat up anyone that feels normal....freaking sober a holes.
I started my new play, so I haven't been all wedding obsessed...except about my weight. I think about arm flab ALL the time. I walked down the street today doing curls with my purse (permission to giggle at the mental image granted), and yea people DID look at me like I was cookoo bananas...I am not really coordinated enough to do such things, I only stubbed my toes about 47 times...I also noticed that even though my legs are not in my top problem areas...it hurts to wear skirts because of the "chub rub"...yeah I said it. Chub rub is when your thighs rub together whist walking, making a lovely rash aka chafe on your inner thighs...sistas you KNOW what I'm talking about. And it HURTS and it SUCKS....So now I am fully aware of...
1. arm flab
2. the love gut
3. chub rub
I have more issues than originally planned...I REALLY need to get to work.
And then I drank. And drank. And drank. And then drinking led to pizza of course. So there I was at 2am drunk and eating pizza...no good.
Today I was hungover. So I picked at food and was nauseated and tired all day...I had some wine and yummy cheese this evening to cure it.
The good news is I walked about 6 miles today. Hungover. It sucks. Your thirsty. Your head hurts. And you want to beat up anyone that feels normal....freaking sober a holes.
I started my new play, so I haven't been all wedding obsessed...except about my weight. I think about arm flab ALL the time. I walked down the street today doing curls with my purse (permission to giggle at the mental image granted), and yea people DID look at me like I was cookoo bananas...I am not really coordinated enough to do such things, I only stubbed my toes about 47 times...I also noticed that even though my legs are not in my top problem areas...it hurts to wear skirts because of the "chub rub"...yeah I said it. Chub rub is when your thighs rub together whist walking, making a lovely rash aka chafe on your inner thighs...sistas you KNOW what I'm talking about. And it HURTS and it SUCKS....So now I am fully aware of...
1. arm flab
2. the love gut
3. chub rub
I have more issues than originally planned...I REALLY need to get to work.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
OW!
Yeah, I can barely move today. The good news is it hurts so bad to move, I can't lift my arms high enough to reach things to cook dinner! Obviously my master plan is working!
I will do my new DVD when I can walk again.
Does anyone know how bad releasing balloons REALLY is for the environment? I mean I know it's kinda bad...but HOW bad? Be brutally honest, I don't want to be responsible for choking a seagull or trapping a guppy in a latex prison of doom. But if I can have some super cool balloons...
Sorry I don't have more to write, but it hurts my abs to type...seriously....I'm so sore it hurts to TYPE!
I will do my new DVD when I can walk again.
Does anyone know how bad releasing balloons REALLY is for the environment? I mean I know it's kinda bad...but HOW bad? Be brutally honest, I don't want to be responsible for choking a seagull or trapping a guppy in a latex prison of doom. But if I can have some super cool balloons...
Sorry I don't have more to write, but it hurts my abs to type...seriously....I'm so sore it hurts to TYPE!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Love Gut
I found out how to motivate myself to loose weight....keep trying on wedding dresses! I happened to walk into a shop with dresses today, and it was mildly traumatic...although not even close to the D.B. experience. I was trying on the lovely dresses and my beer gut was just THERE...staring at me...taunting me and the dress, any dress, I put on. Guess what beer gut. Your going DOWN. I got home, and worked out like it was my JOB. I did ab exercise after ab exercise...jack knife after jack knife, plank after painful plank until I couldn't anymore...Bob used to call it "burning out" a muscle...well I burnt out my gut today. Even though I got a new workout video in the mail today (Thanks Cousin Steph), my DVD player is sad so I had to wii today. I will have to do the new vid tomorrow...I will unveil the title of the video along with my detailed review!
Anyways, I have figured out that if I continue to put myself through the torture of gown shopping, I will continue to workout and eat healthy until the wedding! Good plan huh?
Speaking of plans... the knot website says there is only 500 days until the wedding! 500 days to loose the weight...I can do this! I know it!!!! As long as I keep shaming myself with bad dresses that accent my love gut I will get there! Matt is so supportive, but he also reminds me how great he thinks I look now...but he didn't see the sea of white BAD in that dressing room today. I might have nightmares....
So the food of the day:
coffee (x2 cups)
1/2 pumpernickel bagel with nonfat cream cheese
small filet steak sandwich
strawberries, raspberries, cherries
peach lemonade (x2)
Anyways, I have figured out that if I continue to put myself through the torture of gown shopping, I will continue to workout and eat healthy until the wedding! Good plan huh?
Speaking of plans... the knot website says there is only 500 days until the wedding! 500 days to loose the weight...I can do this! I know it!!!! As long as I keep shaming myself with bad dresses that accent my love gut I will get there! Matt is so supportive, but he also reminds me how great he thinks I look now...but he didn't see the sea of white BAD in that dressing room today. I might have nightmares....
So the food of the day:
coffee (x2 cups)
1/2 pumpernickel bagel with nonfat cream cheese
small filet steak sandwich
strawberries, raspberries, cherries
peach lemonade (x2)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
paper and pinwheels and bears oh my!
These are what I have been working on currently, I finished a few yesterday, and I am IN LOVE with them! Matt and I spent a good portion of the afternoon just blowing on the finished ones and giggling. They take a little bit of time each, putting the holes in the dowel rods is the most frustrating thing, but I am so SO pleased with the final product. I think we will be investing in some giant tupperware bins to house all my crafts as I complete them, as I am running out of mugs and vases to store the little buggers.
Diet wise yesterday was a wash. To celebrate the return of my dear J. Tray to my life, we had a little BBQ with ribs and chicken legs, potato salad and fresh turnip greens from the garden! John was so impressed with my Martha abilities! I love just going out to the garden and picking my veggies for the evening. Matt made the turnips perfectly with some slivered garlic and a little pepper vinegar from the home state...YUM! We finished dinner with fresh strawberry and blueberry shortcake (strawberries fresh picked!) Either way, the diet went out the bay windows, and I enjoyed a fantastic dinner without guilt. It just means today I have to face wii fit calling me a Fatty again...in the cutest voice ever...damn you Nintendo and your clever ways! I will need to workout pretty awesomely...I'm thinking at least 3 hula hooping exercises..or something. My shoulder have been killing me from all the plank/pushup things that wii makes me do...hopefully that means my arm flab is shrinking!
Anyways, I am off to wiifit...and I love you all!
PS Thanks for all the support guys! Your comments keep me inspired and working out...
Thursday, June 10, 2010
New look!
So, I changed up the look a little, I figured with the new name and all..
So I wii fitted 1:20 today! I mostly did the step aerobics, which I found I could watch TV while I worked out! Awesome! Except I found it really hard to change the channel and do step aerobics at the same time...I kept tripping and losing rhythm..apparently what I really need to work on is being able to do two simple actions at once. Also, Matt and I did a little walking this afternoon. I got a glue stick while we were out to work on my Wedding Binder! I LOVE binders, and LOVE LOVE the Wedding Binder. It's super special. All the pages in it are covered with plastic...yeah. It's a super SUPER special binder.
For food today I feel like I did pretty well.
Breakfast:
1/2 pumpernickel bagel with nonfat cream cheese
fruit cup of watermelon and strawberries
coffee (x2 cups)
Snack
strawberries
Lunch
1/2 turkey meatball sandwich, fresh mozzarella cheese
garden fresh salad (From my garden: lettuce, spinach, radishes) with white wine vinaigrette
Dinner
turnip greens with pepper vinegar
My body HURTS!!! I know I will be even More sore tomorrow, but I know it will all be worth it when I see the pictures after the wedding. I can't wait to start trying on dresses once I am at a happy weight...and I weight I know I will be able to maintain too! Just talked to mama, she makes my heart warm...I know with her help we are going to have the best time with this wedding!
xo
So I wii fitted 1:20 today! I mostly did the step aerobics, which I found I could watch TV while I worked out! Awesome! Except I found it really hard to change the channel and do step aerobics at the same time...I kept tripping and losing rhythm..apparently what I really need to work on is being able to do two simple actions at once. Also, Matt and I did a little walking this afternoon. I got a glue stick while we were out to work on my Wedding Binder! I LOVE binders, and LOVE LOVE the Wedding Binder. It's super special. All the pages in it are covered with plastic...yeah. It's a super SUPER special binder.
For food today I feel like I did pretty well.
Breakfast:
1/2 pumpernickel bagel with nonfat cream cheese
fruit cup of watermelon and strawberries
coffee (x2 cups)
Snack
strawberries
Lunch
1/2 turkey meatball sandwich, fresh mozzarella cheese
garden fresh salad (From my garden: lettuce, spinach, radishes) with white wine vinaigrette
Dinner
turnip greens with pepper vinegar
My body HURTS!!! I know I will be even More sore tomorrow, but I know it will all be worth it when I see the pictures after the wedding. I can't wait to start trying on dresses once I am at a happy weight...and I weight I know I will be able to maintain too! Just talked to mama, she makes my heart warm...I know with her help we are going to have the best time with this wedding!
xo
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
177 Woop woop!
I am officially never going back to the 180's. I have reached 177 and I am never turning back. 7 lbs and I will reach my first mini weight loss goal. Instead of rewarding myself with pie, I will reward myself with new workout shoes...I'm thinkin those Reebok butt shoes. I will review them, you will hear from me soon about whether or not my butt feels different...I'm not sure how different I WANT my butt to feel...sometimes a funny feeling in your ass is NOT a good thing...
I wii fitted for 1:07 today! It was super and my abs hurt like woah! I am hoping to be in moderate to heavy pain tomorrow, meaning I did a decent workout today. Iv'e lost 5 lbs since wii fit and I were introduced, SO I am going to go out on a limb here and say we are playing well together. I had to hide Bob and Jillian, I'm afraid they will get hurt feelings because I have found I new workout partner in "Un named fitness trainer female". I like her anonymity, it keeps me from getting too attached the way I did with Bob. I am considering adding Biggest Loser for wii fit to my rotation though, maybe after I reach my next mini goal. I am working on slowly losing weight for the wedding, my goal weight is 150lbs. The funny thing is I seriously cannot remember being 150 lbs in my adult life. Getting skinny in the summer is easy though...it's keeping it off during the Winter that sucks. When your skin doesn't see the light of day...it tends to get all lumpy under those sweatshirts.
I worked out for so long today because of the Scooperbowl yesterday. 33 flavors of ice cream ALL YOU CAN EAT...not kidding! I downed an entire scoop of Eddy's Birthday Cake (Uh YUM?) and a whole scoop of Ben and Jerry's Boston Cream Pie...Yes 2 of my favorite things morphed into one. magical. cup. It has CHUNKS! OF! CAKE! YALL! Seriously. Thank you Jesus it only happens once a year, and my lactose ability means it doesn't count too much...ya know...because it doesn't stay in....
Change of subject.
I was able to put back the newest Martha Stewart Weddings today. Matt (my loving and marvelous Fiance) made me choose between Martha and smoothie fruit. I chose smoothie fruit. So instead of looking at the DIY edition today, I will make a post workout strawberry mango smoothie, and then look at Martha Stewart Weddings online. HA Take that...uh somebody (i'm not sure who is taking it...but they will!) Matt and I are having such a good time listening to songs, making LISTS!!!, and bouncing ideas off each other. I need to stop looking at dresses right now, because anything I fall in love with this summer will be gone next...I'm just SO EXCITED! I have added some things to my DIY list... boutonnieres, if anybody finds a clever DIY boutonniere, please PLEASE send it my way. I will be workshopping several options this weekend, then I might have a poll from my readers about which one looks the most fun, pretty, which one gets a big fat thumbs down...ect. Also, I will workshopping paper flowers... opinions welcome, I know everyone will have one. Lastly, We priced invites yesterday....EEK! A decision was made.
We need to win the lotto.
I wii fitted for 1:07 today! It was super and my abs hurt like woah! I am hoping to be in moderate to heavy pain tomorrow, meaning I did a decent workout today. Iv'e lost 5 lbs since wii fit and I were introduced, SO I am going to go out on a limb here and say we are playing well together. I had to hide Bob and Jillian, I'm afraid they will get hurt feelings because I have found I new workout partner in "Un named fitness trainer female". I like her anonymity, it keeps me from getting too attached the way I did with Bob. I am considering adding Biggest Loser for wii fit to my rotation though, maybe after I reach my next mini goal. I am working on slowly losing weight for the wedding, my goal weight is 150lbs. The funny thing is I seriously cannot remember being 150 lbs in my adult life. Getting skinny in the summer is easy though...it's keeping it off during the Winter that sucks. When your skin doesn't see the light of day...it tends to get all lumpy under those sweatshirts.
I worked out for so long today because of the Scooperbowl yesterday. 33 flavors of ice cream ALL YOU CAN EAT...not kidding! I downed an entire scoop of Eddy's Birthday Cake (Uh YUM?) and a whole scoop of Ben and Jerry's Boston Cream Pie...Yes 2 of my favorite things morphed into one. magical. cup. It has CHUNKS! OF! CAKE! YALL! Seriously. Thank you Jesus it only happens once a year, and my lactose ability means it doesn't count too much...ya know...because it doesn't stay in....
Change of subject.
I was able to put back the newest Martha Stewart Weddings today. Matt (my loving and marvelous Fiance) made me choose between Martha and smoothie fruit. I chose smoothie fruit. So instead of looking at the DIY edition today, I will make a post workout strawberry mango smoothie, and then look at Martha Stewart Weddings online. HA Take that...uh somebody (i'm not sure who is taking it...but they will!) Matt and I are having such a good time listening to songs, making LISTS!!!, and bouncing ideas off each other. I need to stop looking at dresses right now, because anything I fall in love with this summer will be gone next...I'm just SO EXCITED! I have added some things to my DIY list... boutonnieres, if anybody finds a clever DIY boutonniere, please PLEASE send it my way. I will be workshopping several options this weekend, then I might have a poll from my readers about which one looks the most fun, pretty, which one gets a big fat thumbs down...ect. Also, I will workshopping paper flowers... opinions welcome, I know everyone will have one. Lastly, We priced invites yesterday....EEK! A decision was made.
We need to win the lotto.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Take that wii fit
So I wii fitted last night, did 50 minutes in my wii bank...hula hooping makes me sweat, and it's really fun! I did some yoga and strength as well. Loved it! Big ol thanks to my Auntie! So in my wedding planning obsession (I know its like a year and a half away but still...) I have decided the following.
*There will be no beach...Matt is terrified of sharks and open water...he hates the sand....Matt is NOT a beach fellow.
*I will have FABULOUS shoes.
*hand made pinwheels will be involved somewhere...
*All I can think about is sweets...all the time...candy, candy buffet, candy apples, cotton candy, cake, cupcakes, chocolate anything..PS this wedding will be brought to you by the letter "C"...
*I have been finding every DIY wedding site/blog I can find making me feel the need to hit up Michaels crafts in a major way...
*My DIY list includes but is not limited to...homemade paper pinwheels, my veil, jeweled headbands for my brides chicks, some sort of garland, mason jar somethin, felt fake mustaches...all will make sense at the end of Oct 2011....
*once I figure out how to put pics on this thing...you can all see my DIY progress as I turn my house into wedding central.
*I hope mama and daddy are prepared to begin housing the finished items...they will slowly be making their way to NC over the next 15 months:)
*I never knew how many people we knew until we started listing all of them in a spreadsheet...
*After looking a photos from my friends wedding, I have shoulders stacked like a linebacker...must work on this.
*Having to take photos of my hand for ring pics made me realize they look like troll hands, need to moisturize more often.
*If anyone sees any fun, DIY project, send me the link, everyone knows how much I love crafting and glue guns!
I have already lost almost 3 lbs, mostly by remembering how much I love vegetables. The garden is producing spinach, lettuce, turnips, and radishes...I never have an excuse to eat kraft macaroni and cheese. Dinner last night was salad with homemade white wine vinaigrette, half a sandwich no mayo. Not bad...tasted delish! Hopefully Matt and I can make an awesome and healthy meal tonight...
*There will be no beach...Matt is terrified of sharks and open water...he hates the sand....Matt is NOT a beach fellow.
*I will have FABULOUS shoes.
*hand made pinwheels will be involved somewhere...
*All I can think about is sweets...all the time...candy, candy buffet, candy apples, cotton candy, cake, cupcakes, chocolate anything..PS this wedding will be brought to you by the letter "C"...
*I have been finding every DIY wedding site/blog I can find making me feel the need to hit up Michaels crafts in a major way...
*My DIY list includes but is not limited to...homemade paper pinwheels, my veil, jeweled headbands for my brides chicks, some sort of garland, mason jar somethin, felt fake mustaches...all will make sense at the end of Oct 2011....
*once I figure out how to put pics on this thing...you can all see my DIY progress as I turn my house into wedding central.
*I hope mama and daddy are prepared to begin housing the finished items...they will slowly be making their way to NC over the next 15 months:)
*I never knew how many people we knew until we started listing all of them in a spreadsheet...
*After looking a photos from my friends wedding, I have shoulders stacked like a linebacker...must work on this.
*Having to take photos of my hand for ring pics made me realize they look like troll hands, need to moisturize more often.
*If anyone sees any fun, DIY project, send me the link, everyone knows how much I love crafting and glue guns!
I have already lost almost 3 lbs, mostly by remembering how much I love vegetables. The garden is producing spinach, lettuce, turnips, and radishes...I never have an excuse to eat kraft macaroni and cheese. Dinner last night was salad with homemade white wine vinaigrette, half a sandwich no mayo. Not bad...tasted delish! Hopefully Matt and I can make an awesome and healthy meal tonight...
Friday, June 4, 2010
Wii Fit is mean to me
Wii fit called me a fat ass today...well it didn't say "Hey Meg, you is a fat ass" but it basically did and said I was 400 years old.
But I set a goal...and then I hula hooped!
I bought the wedding binder today, YAY! I am ready to fill it with lovely ideas and make a kick ass wedding event that will be talked about for years to come...at least by me and Matt:)
But I set a goal...and then I hula hooped!
I bought the wedding binder today, YAY! I am ready to fill it with lovely ideas and make a kick ass wedding event that will be talked about for years to come...at least by me and Matt:)
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Where Tulle is Punished FOREVER
I went to David's Bridal for an "educational experience". I'm pretty sure this is Hell on Earth. I found out the following.
My size is in between double digits and Lane Bryant.
Tulle is NOT my friend.
Lace with iridescent sequins does not make me look like a mermaid...but more like one of those bloated marlins that has been laying on the dock for too long.
Lace with iridescent sequins HURTS.
The bigger the skirt...the bigger your ass.
I do not like having to back in and out of doorways because my dress needs a WIDE LOAD sticker on it.
I have fresh romaine lettuce and spinach from my garden. I have no excuse not to eat a salad. Except that there is chips and salsa that I would much rather be eating....
I had a birthday caramel and pecan cinnamon roll for breakfast today. I walked 12 blocks for it. I'm not sure if this cancels out the pecan carmel cinnamon roll or if it just shows my extreme addiction to pastry.
It's probably the latter.
My size is in between double digits and Lane Bryant.
Tulle is NOT my friend.
Lace with iridescent sequins does not make me look like a mermaid...but more like one of those bloated marlins that has been laying on the dock for too long.
Lace with iridescent sequins HURTS.
The bigger the skirt...the bigger your ass.
I do not like having to back in and out of doorways because my dress needs a WIDE LOAD sticker on it.
I have fresh romaine lettuce and spinach from my garden. I have no excuse not to eat a salad. Except that there is chips and salsa that I would much rather be eating....
I had a birthday caramel and pecan cinnamon roll for breakfast today. I walked 12 blocks for it. I'm not sure if this cancels out the pecan carmel cinnamon roll or if it just shows my extreme addiction to pastry.
It's probably the latter.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Fat Bride Slim
So I'm engaged! YAY! This means I need to kick it into high gear, quit slacking, and work it out. I have the major area of torso (including abs) and arms to make svelte and sexy in 15 months...let the countdown begin.
I will be rigorous. I will be thorough. And I need YOUR help to become the best bride that I can be.
I will NOT have fat flat arms in pictures.
I will NOT have fat hanging over my dress from my armpits
I will NOT be wearing a dress who's size starts with the number "twenty"
I will NOT rely on body shaping underwear to make me thin (although I am sure I will wear it anyway)
I WILL reach my goal. Once I decide what it is I will let you know.
HELP ME PEOPLE!
I will be rigorous. I will be thorough. And I need YOUR help to become the best bride that I can be.
I will NOT have fat flat arms in pictures.
I will NOT have fat hanging over my dress from my armpits
I will NOT be wearing a dress who's size starts with the number "twenty"
I will NOT rely on body shaping underwear to make me thin (although I am sure I will wear it anyway)
I WILL reach my goal. Once I decide what it is I will let you know.
HELP ME PEOPLE!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Strep: The best diet ever
I've had strep for 2 days and have lost 5 lbs already! So the up side to not being able to eat solid foods or move my head is the rapid weight loss? I really want a milkshake right now...thats the 500 cals I needed, right?
Mom is coming to visit, I will record our fun over the next few days...I will rename the blog, Fat Girl Slim and Mama Mia Attack!!!
Todays intake
gatorade
pudding cup
chicken noodle soup, no chicken, no noodle
yoohoo
possibly I milkshake if I can convince Matt to bring me one....
I need a nap now, meds are knockin me out.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
I'm baaacck
And gained 35 lbs on my trip...ok not 35, but 5...back up to 183 after 12 days of gorging on non-light beer, chips (AKA french fries) and anything and everything that tickled my fancy (anyone else grossed out by this phrase?) So back to reality, back to Fat Girl Slim's attack on the fat.
I must admit it was difficult to watch what I ate over there, because I was fitting right in! I was even on the skinny side (aside from the eastern european string beans walking around). I loved walking down the cobbled streets feeling like I was the prettiest lass in Temple Bar, and not giving a damn about the calories in that guiness. Of course this means I could never actually LIVE in a place like this...I would be the size of a Whale! The idea of eating what you want whenever you want...chicken and stuffing sandwiches just waiting to be devoured by a Meg... chips (french fries) deep fried in part oil, part lard and sprinkled with crispies (the batter that fell off the deep fried fish for fish and chips) and soaked with salt and vinegar...easily the best treat I had over there...
And ice cream, chocolate, cupcakes, pasterie, BREAD (oooo the bread!)
Mama needed to come home.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Dublining
So the food I've eaten the last two of days...
Open sandwich: homemade bread, grilled chicken, pesto, sun dried tomatoes, hard boiled egg, greens (3.5 stars)
Tasting plate: Homemade breads, hummus, pesto, olives, brie, and blue cheeses (5 stars!)
noodles from noodle bar (2 stars)
Croque Monsuier sandwich: french toast like bread with ham and cheese inside. (2.5 stars)
chicken and stuffing sandwich from quick mart (3 stars)
Yay! I love you all!!!
Monday, May 10, 2010
In DUBLIN!
Wow I am really here! Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to see it. I've been teching my show all yesterday and today, but we opened tonight!
It is crazy cool here, all the girls are lumpy like me! The beer is tastier (even MGD is stronger and tastier), all the food has "meat and potatoes" somehow involved, and You don't tip waitstaff (for real!) We walk everywhere, and the trek to the theater is about 25 minutes. We are right in the heart of Dublin, it's one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been in. I will try and keep you updated on how i'm eating over here...
Food today:
1/2 luna bar (I quit eating because I got distracted)
Sugar free red bull
water
pork pie (So good): think meatball wrapped in puff pastry with greens (I swear they looked like clovers..but my friend laughed at me) under and apple sauce to dip it in...I cannot tell you how good this was, even though I know you think it sounds gross! I might have another one of these before going home...
homemade chips (AKA Awesome french fries the size of snickers bars) with ginger catsup (yummmm!) PS: The order was split by my table of 4
1 Guiness
Well...Cheers!
FGS
Monday, May 3, 2010
Beer=bad?
What if it's light beer? I always figure light beer is better than wine...which I had tonight. Erg, I would be skinny if I didn't like the hooch after a long day of worrying about whether volcanic ash is going to screw up my show next week... Dagon volcano, making me wanna have a delightful glass of box wine...yup I'm classin it up these days. Nothing quite hits the spot like a glass of wine from and freshly open BOX. I know your jealous.
Tomorrow I will do some walking...
FOOD
wheat thins
1/2 bagel with olive oil
wine from a box
chinese food (EPIC fail) but I ate it off a little plate.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Saturday Fun Day
I spent my saturday drinking beer and eating horrible food...a sampling of my DDB=destructive diet behavior....
salt n vinegar potato chips
beer
chicken fingers
beer
bacon chocolate chip cookie(s) FOR REAL
beer
cucumbers in ranch
beer
chips and salsa
BEER
Fat Girl FAT is back in action...HELP ME...I'm pretty sure this is the obvious call for help......
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The DVD player is broken. No more Bob. No More Jillian. No More Maksimo from Dancing With the Stars. All I have is ipod. Good thing I added some must have workout music. Still taking suggestions for best running jams. My current playlist is a mishmash of all music...
Lady Gaga "Just Dance"
NERD "She wants to move"
Rev Theory "Hell Yeah"
Kanye West "Stronger"
Scissor Sisters "I Don't Feel Like Dancing"
U2 "Desire"
Ramones "Cretin Hop"
Misfits "American Psycho"
Brooks and Dunn "She don't know she's beautiful"
Sugarland "All I want to Do"
I need your adds...
xo
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Fail
I have a brand new playlist...
I have healthy food in the fridge...
but...
ITS 40 DEGREES OUTSIDE
Obviously this means I am covered in blankets and drinking wine.
fat girl slim FAIL
but I love wine, and I love myself...so there!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
177
Yup. So this weekend was a bust. It was Matt's birthday, and although I ate nothing at his party, I did consume enough alcohol to drain an ABC Store. Therefore turning the next day into hangover day=salt and vinegar potato chips and chinese food. Not together. But in the same day.
I gardened yesterday, planted tomatoes, peppers, celery to add onto the already planted radishes, spinach, lettuce, and carrots...I hope the Matthews greenthumb runs in the family. My radishes are flourishing! I don't particularly LOVE radishes, but maybe I have just never had them prepared correctly...like fried. Everything tastes better fried (that is Just the kind of thinking that got me into the this whole Fat Girl Slim mess)! But as I was gardening, I was able to get tan (YES!) and as I have heard rumoured, tan DOES=thin. I felt gorgeously thin at the garden center yesterday...it could be because I was surrounded by the type of people that spend a Saturday afternoon trolling tomato sprouts...AKA not supermodels. But I loved it. Apparently all I really need to do to perceive myself as a skinny girl is hang out with non-skinny girls. I should just set up a lawn chair outside of Lane Bryant.
Anyways...I am back on the program tomorrow. I keep falling off the wagon everytime there is a cupcake in a 5 mile radius of my mouth...or when someone says, "Hey let's fry anything!". Its time to cut the gut again.
I need a new playlist for running...suggestions?? Post your suggestions as comments ya'll!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Hmph.
So, I have been consuming nothing but rice cakes and beer.
I realize this may not be the best diet. I realize Bob would NOT approve. But to be perfectly honest, I have no real hunger. I drink water/crystal light too. I am completely unmotivated to do anything other than listen to Van Morrison and paint. Exercise doesn't feel like a priority right now because I am incredibly busy making the perfect Pandora Radio Station (which Takes ALOT of effort) and checking facebook.
I have been painting like crazy. I have been reading. Catching up on Sammy's Days of Our Lives. Dr.Oz popped a giant blister on TV this morning. Almost threw up because Dr. Oz popped a giant blister on TV this morning. Watering the garden I planted. Staring intently at the garden I planted trying to will it to grow faster. Doing sudoku. Playing Spider Solitare. Majong Tiles. Standing in front of the pantry but never feel like eating anything so I don't. I apply to another crappy retail job every day. Today I am pretty sure I hit job hunting rock bottom. I applied to be a "Tanning Consultant". I think real rock bottom will be when I don't get a job offer to BE a "Tanning Consultant". Sorry this is so sad. I think I am in a funk.
FOOD
Coffee (x2)
1/4 a bagel with olive oil
rice cake
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Still Running
So because the weather has been so beautiful, I have continued this outdoor exercising thing. I like it...I do a little walk/run combo, I have been doing 6 miles a day...Yes I'm serious. It takes me about an 1:15 to finish all six, but it's a nice switch up from Jillian yelling at me and Bob telling me to smile. Matt's family runs marathons together, and I think I will be a part of Team Lakshmi (named after Casey's baby girl). Our first marathon relay is on May 30th...I don't know if I will really be ready, but it definitely gives me something to work hard for. Plus I get to listen to Black Eyed Peas and Zac Brown Band on ipod. I usually finish up with some weightlifting and ab work. I better freaking loose weight this week is all I'm sayin...
To prove I am being honest about how much I run... I will be honest about everything...I gained obviously. I am now back up to 181.
Food.
1 Cadberry egg (it's easter!)
1 hard boiled egg
cheese
2 servings of crackers
water
crystal light
chicken, ham, asparagus, roll up
curry cous cous
cupcake (prolly cancels out the run, but it's RED VELVET!)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Meg Runs?
YES, I RAN today...ok walk/ran. For what felt like forever, but was only an hour...which when you are running really is an hour. I know I will be unable to move tomorrow. But I am already planning on going for a walk and doing a little Big Fat Loser Workout.
I also did some abs. As in crunches until it hurt...like 4...and made sounds that I have never actually heard myself make before. Like a cross between a groan a howl and a moo. Needless to say, I not only burned some calories but throughly embarrassed myself.
FOOD
1/2 egg, ham, and mushroom omelette
1/2 slice of whole wheat toast
1 cup organic tomato and roasted red pepper soup
1/2 grilled cheese
yoplus blackberry and pomegrante yogurt
roasted chicken
steamed green beans
crystal light
water
NO DIET SODA
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sooo...
Hi guys.
How are you.
OK, ok, back to what you really want to know. I am going into major work at work. I am going into I'm lucky if I eat days at work. I will be running around like a crazy lady for the next two weeks, so sorry kids, if I can't play with you.
Sunday, I did my Latin Beatz DVD while Matt was sleeping on the couch...apparently all the shaking, cha cha chaing and mamboing woke him up, because by the time I was yelling at dude whom I choose to call the Girating Rapist (his facial expressions are very creepy/disturbing) Matt was laughing so hard I am pretty sure he was burning more calories then me...But I persevered, and worked it right up until I shimmied so hard I think I moved a rib...I think next time I should wear a slutty skirt like the girls do on the video. That should help right?
Yesterday I felt like dog doo and walked to work...it was raining. It sucked.
In other news Jillian is taunting me from the DVD stack next to the TV. I can hear her yelling out of the box...but guess what Jillian??? I have to work...like REAL people do. Like REAL people who can't afford your 30 dollar wieght loss supplements from Wal Mart. Or your fancy "Cleanse" products...you know what those are...expensive doculax YALL. Nobody needs 30 dollar laxitives...NOBODY...And as much as I hate the Jillian Michaels coorperation...I friggin KNOW those mountian climbers are gonna make my ass so hard you could bounce a penny off it. How do I know this...cause that SHIT HURTS! Pants are loose...but I'm still rockin a pretty sweet beer gut. Unfortunatley by boobies are shrinking like a snowman in June, and I dislike it. It seems the fat is simply sliding down my body and redepositing itself in a donut starting at my belly button and ending at my butt crack. Does Jillian have a pill for this...Dont think so...skinny bitch.
Anyways. No real workout today. FAIL in that dept.
FOOD.
whole wheat bagel, 1 tbsp lowfat cream cheese
coffee, splenda, cream
water
wine...uh alot
turkey-apple-meatball wrap with plain yogurt and hummus (you have NO idea how good this was!)
PS Auntie Em...I won't quit..
How are you.
OK, ok, back to what you really want to know. I am going into major work at work. I am going into I'm lucky if I eat days at work. I will be running around like a crazy lady for the next two weeks, so sorry kids, if I can't play with you.
Sunday, I did my Latin Beatz DVD while Matt was sleeping on the couch...apparently all the shaking, cha cha chaing and mamboing woke him up, because by the time I was yelling at dude whom I choose to call the Girating Rapist (his facial expressions are very creepy/disturbing) Matt was laughing so hard I am pretty sure he was burning more calories then me...But I persevered, and worked it right up until I shimmied so hard I think I moved a rib...I think next time I should wear a slutty skirt like the girls do on the video. That should help right?
Yesterday I felt like dog doo and walked to work...it was raining. It sucked.
In other news Jillian is taunting me from the DVD stack next to the TV. I can hear her yelling out of the box...but guess what Jillian??? I have to work...like REAL people do. Like REAL people who can't afford your 30 dollar wieght loss supplements from Wal Mart. Or your fancy "Cleanse" products...you know what those are...expensive doculax YALL. Nobody needs 30 dollar laxitives...NOBODY...And as much as I hate the Jillian Michaels coorperation...I friggin KNOW those mountian climbers are gonna make my ass so hard you could bounce a penny off it. How do I know this...cause that SHIT HURTS! Pants are loose...but I'm still rockin a pretty sweet beer gut. Unfortunatley by boobies are shrinking like a snowman in June, and I dislike it. It seems the fat is simply sliding down my body and redepositing itself in a donut starting at my belly button and ending at my butt crack. Does Jillian have a pill for this...Dont think so...skinny bitch.
Anyways. No real workout today. FAIL in that dept.
FOOD.
whole wheat bagel, 1 tbsp lowfat cream cheese
coffee, splenda, cream
water
wine...uh alot
turkey-apple-meatball wrap with plain yogurt and hummus (you have NO idea how good this was!)
PS Auntie Em...I won't quit..
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