You know your a fat girl when you get two food related injuries in the same day.
Injury #1: With a grocery cart filled with food. I am making my way down the bread aisle (obviously) when BAM. I rolled over my own toe with a grocery cart. Blood starts seeping out of my flip flop, and as I limp over to the bread man, there are 3 other Stop and Shop men surrounding me. One guy is wiping down my shoe, the other three fighting over the best way to bandage my ring toe. I felt like the Cinderella of the Bread and Bun aisle. I believe I left the toe nail in the bread aisle, and was able to continue my shopping with barely a limp...carbs are attacking my body in a whole new way...usually they just effect my waistline, now they are going for blood.
Injury #2: At Matt's suggestion, instead of buying preshredded cabbage for cole slaw, I am shredding it on his kitchen mandolin. Please see photo:
THIS IS A DEATH BLADE. This is the death blade responsible for removing the end of my pinky finger. Yeah, you read it correctly...I cut off the tip of my FRIGGIN pinky with this helpful kitchen apparatus. I was just shredding away at some cabbage and then ZIP...bye bye pinky tip + nail. But it's ok, I was wearing blue nail polish so it was easy to find it in the kitchen sink. The cole slaw was finger free. I had no idea pinky fingers were filled with so much blood...it was gushing...pretty scary stuff..but after holding it above my head for a couple of hours it finally stopped. Good thing Matt is so good at dressing kitchen mishaps. The good news is that your fingertips regenerate! So I will have a normal pinky again in no time!
I need to rest my pinky now.
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