Thrown of Lies

I have something to get off my chest. As a fat girl, I enjoy food network. I love Paula Deen and her need to deep fry everything. I love that she has a recipe for a Krispy Kreme Hamburger, and that her waistline makes me know that it is not a good idea to cook one for myself. I love Tyler Florence, and how his belly has increased with the popularity of his show. I even respect Rachel Ray and her roundness, even though I am pretty sure she is among the most annoying humans on earth.

What I do not love, or respect is Giada DeLaurentes. She is a lying whore. There is no FRIGGIN way she eats all those carbs and keeps her body smaller than her head. NO EFFING WAY. There is no way she chows down on homemade fried mozzarella (pronounced in italian, but continue sounding american when reading the rest of this.) and stays a size two. NO WAY she can even taste one friggin bite of the cheesecake and canolis on a regular basis and not be the size of Mrs. Deen. SO guess what Giada...your a lying whore. And if you aren't a lying whore, please enlighten us fatties who make the food YOU cook, and somehow are writing blogs called FAT BRIDE SLIM, and don't say you just do crunches, because that is bullshit. Just tell the truth Giada. You sit on a thrown of lies.

And PS. Put your boobies away skank.


Moving on.

So yesterday. I bought a size 10! YAY! In skinny jeans! DOUBLE YAY! I am not sure what I did (as I have been a disgusting techie lately), but I did it. It simply MUST be my butt shoes. I do feel the burn on a daily basis, and they are pretty awesome. (I know what I didn't do. Make one of that lying skank's recipes...thrown of lies, Giada) I haven't been eating the healthiest, and I have been drinking a little more than usual, but it's summertime tech week, and it happens.

As far as planning is concerned, I have been pretty busy lately, so apologies. I know inspiration will hit pretty hard now that I have the new play opened. It's also much easier to use a glue gun when it's not 400 degrees inside your house.

Finally, birthday shout out to J Tray. Thanks for following and for going to David's Bridal with me. Without you I would have slit my wrists and ruined a shit ton of tulle.