There's Water in Corona, Right?

So... I know I am supposed to be a weight loss crusader and all, but I LOVE Corona Light. It's Light right? That makes it healthier than say... an entire bucket of fried chicken? I think my issue comes when I drink, like 7 Corona lights, at which point I epically Fail the diet for the day.

Well, last night I was celebrating my awesome diet day with some lovely grilled filet (healthiest of the red meats) grilled veggies, and a delicious salad with homemade herbed apple cider vinaigrette. And a 6 pack of Corona Light. Topped off some Red Stripe Light...YES. That's right. Red. Stripe. Light. They finally made it. And I like it.

Unfortunately, my gut does too. I'm pretty sure I rock the perfect beer gut.

Everyone says to cut out the alcohol. But I have a very VERY good argument. I don't wanna.

I haven't been the Night Snacker lately. Mainly because I have eaten all the food in my house. Well all the GOOD food at least. No more cookies, chips, snacks of any sort. Now if I want to Night Snack I have to eat...Healthy....and what is the point in that? There is hardly any joy in noshing on a celery stick in secret...not nearly the way that a cookie does. But when my fat is all contained in a dress, without looking like I've been stuffed in like a plump summer sausage...the lack of cookies will be sooo worth it. I know it. I KNOW IT OK?

Currently, dress shopping is so horrifying...so stressful...that I don't even know what I want anymore. I used to think I knew what I wanted, but every dress I put on makes me look like I either need to be working as a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, or like the fabric will explode, Incredible Hulk style, from attempting to breathe. Why don't dress shops carry sizes over a friggin 8? Obviously to make fat girls feel like shit. Well guess what Dress Shop? EF YOU.

Either way, I am trying on more dresses soon. My belief is that I find a dress that looks amazing now...when I reach my goal weight I will look AWESOME. Also, Matt keeps me from getting down about the dresses, always telling me that I am beautiful. And if he thinks I am, I know I will find something that will make him be so happy to marry me.

Take that skinny dress shop bitches...

Man, I need a Corona Light after reliving the dress trying on experiences, it's a vicious cycle right?

Coffee Jerks and Goody Two Shoes

Dear Baristas,

Why do you think you are cooler than me? Just because you can make a grande espresso double latte mocha-frappa-whatta doesn't mean I should be scorned for merely ordering a $5.00 plain coffee, with splenda. What exactly about pouring coffee makes you feel that you have the right treat us normal non-coffee pourers like doggie doo? THIS is why I got to starbucks. They actually have the least pretentious "baristas" out of them all. Blue State Coffee in PVD is AWFUL. ALL meanies...ALL of them. No smiles, only "I'm too cool to smile at you because I'm a barista " smirks from these assholes. Well guess what Blue State Coffee...suck it. You aint get my $5.00 for a coffee. Nuh Uh...

Now that THAT'S off my chest...

I walk to work everyday (1.5 miles), but I am not so sure it's the quality of exercise that my wii fit would congratulate me for...I need to get my life back on track. The first week of a show is always wonky though...readjusting....walking up...being on time to places...I just have to schedule workouts into my schedule. Monday will be my day of readjustment. I stupidly decided to break in a new pair of super cute sandals yesterday. Now I have blisters the size of Skittles on the back of my feet. Super Cute Shoes=DEVIL sandals. I now know one thing for my wedding day...I will break in my shoes like woah...or that I should spend more than $11.00 on them...or BOTH!

wedding shoes...I have a couple of ideas...



The Not-So-Basic White Shoe....










Something Blue Shoes!!??




These are DANCING Shoes...as in Dancing With The Stars Shoes...I kinda love them, and the idea that they were designed for major time on the feet.





I love the how simple these appear..but the bow is so gorgeous!






And THESE....The Dreamiest Shoe of all the Shoes...these are ONLY if I can really reach my goal...but they are (sigh) Incredible....









Onward I go...with visions of Badgley Mischka dancing in my head...I know these are not the traditional dyeable pumps of tradition, but why start planning a traditional wedding with the shoes... especially shoes like these?

The Hills Have Eyes, and 5 pound dumbells...

I like to lift weights while looking at skinny people. I do lunges, squats, and arm reps whilst watching "The Hills" and "The City" on MTV. Deep down, I know that Audrina does NOT work out...my assumption is she fills her body with vodka and tonic and doesn't eat other than that. Because I am a fat girl with a real job and cannot ever "do" that whole booze diet, I make myself workout while fulfilling my trashy TV addiction. I might just implement this rule for all trashy TV. Imagine if I lifted weights for all of the Bachelorette?! 2 hours of reps! HOLY ARMS! This MUST be healthier than what I usually do during the Bachelorette...scream at the tv about how cookoo bananas that Kasey guy was, talk about how busted Ali's weave is, and pretty much make fun of myself for watching it...but I love it...what was this blog about...?

Oh exercise. And Fat Brides.

Speaking of Fat Brides...when do I get to eat cake? Aren't there supposed to be cake tastings sometime? I want a cake dinner...NOW. I am looking at cakes all the time, which is why I am hungry all the time. How the heck can I loose weight when I have to make a "Cake Section" of the Wedding Binder, a whole neatly labeled section with nothing but photos of cakes....delicious, frosting topped, buttercream filled, wonderful looking, I will lick this sheet of paper photos...of CAKES...I'm so screwed. Here are some I found today....


I love this white cake...simple...but look at that ICING! I just want to SHOVE my FACE IN!!!











Matt and I both Love this super fun yellow cake!













How about a Cupcake Cake?















Ok, Im starving...salad for me, but I'll pretend it's cake...

The Legend of the Night Snacker

Fat Ass Bride Photograph compliments of slimfast. I will be printing it and posting it on every piece of food in my kitchen.

By day, I am Meg, the smoothie drinking, salad eating, exercising machine. By night I am...The Night Snacker. It's my evil alter-ego...Stuffing my face with anything in my path. Syanara PIZZA! Ciao POTATO CHIPS! CAKE? YOUR MINE!!! I run around the house, like a ninja, darting from shadow to shadow looking for innocent pieces of junk food to hostilely take over. Batman couldn't protect a brownie in this house, I will find a way. Also, when I am eating healthy, I wake up, from a dead sleep, in the middle of the night and eat chips in bed. My finace has no idea. Except sometimes I fall back asleep and leave the evidence laying next to the bed...(Matt, look at the empty pita chips bag on my side...Now) I have a problem. My alter-ego is taking over.

I need an intervention. I need a group of safe and loving people to hog tie me, and carry me off to the Betty Crocker Rehab Clinic...mama LOVES to eat. Especially after 9:00pm.

In Wedding News...all of our dream venues are not possible. Good thing I am obsessed with planning my wedding so we are finding all this information out now...I know the venue will find us... especially if it happens to be a junk food stand that is open past 9:00pm. If the Night Snacker were planning the wedding, we'd be getting married in the Lil Debbie Cake aisle of the 7eleven. Thank goodness I am Meg during the day when real decisions are gettin made.

My poll of the week. As a guest at a wedding would you be disappointed if some of the traditions (ex: garter collecting and toss, the bouquet toss...ect) were not included? The idea of Matt fishing around up my dress in front of my Blue Granny and Papa kinda horrifies me... of your personal wedding day, did it seem like a "must have" event?

Anyways. I will finish my smoothie (strawberries, whole banana, mango, blueberries, raspberries, watermelon) and then hit up the exercise before walking to work. Hopefully I can fend off the Night Snacker tonight...wish me luck...

Cheat day...

So yesterday was a wash... I started out good, going outside, drinking smoothies, getting some sun, going on a 2 mile walk...

And then I drank. And drank. And drank. And then drinking led to pizza of course. So there I was at 2am drunk and eating pizza...no good.

Today I was hungover. So I picked at food and was nauseated and tired all day...I had some wine and yummy cheese this evening to cure it.

The good news is I walked about 6 miles today. Hungover. It sucks. Your thirsty. Your head hurts. And you want to beat up anyone that feels normal....freaking sober a holes.

I started my new play, so I haven't been all wedding obsessed...except about my weight. I think about arm flab ALL the time. I walked down the street today doing curls with my purse (permission to giggle at the mental image granted), and yea people DID look at me like I was cookoo bananas...I am not really coordinated enough to do such things, I only stubbed my toes about 47 times...I also noticed that even though my legs are not in my top problem areas...it hurts to wear skirts because of the "chub rub"...yeah I said it. Chub rub is when your thighs rub together whist walking, making a lovely rash aka chafe on your inner thighs...sistas you KNOW what I'm talking about. And it HURTS and it SUCKS....So now I am fully aware of...
1. arm flab
2. the love gut
3. chub rub

I have more issues than originally planned...I REALLY need to get to work.

OW!

Yeah, I can barely move today. The good news is it hurts so bad to move, I can't lift my arms high enough to reach things to cook dinner! Obviously my master plan is working!

I will do my new DVD when I can walk again.

Does anyone know how bad releasing balloons REALLY is for the environment? I mean I know it's kinda bad...but HOW bad? Be brutally honest, I don't want to be responsible for choking a seagull or trapping a guppy in a latex prison of doom. But if I can have some super cool balloons...

Sorry I don't have more to write, but it hurts my abs to type...seriously....I'm so sore it hurts to TYPE!

Love Gut

I found out how to motivate myself to loose weight....keep trying on wedding dresses! I happened to walk into a shop with dresses today, and it was mildly traumatic...although not even close to the D.B. experience. I was trying on the lovely dresses and my beer gut was just THERE...staring at me...taunting me and the dress, any dress, I put on. Guess what beer gut. Your going DOWN. I got home, and worked out like it was my JOB. I did ab exercise after ab exercise...jack knife after jack knife, plank after painful plank until I couldn't anymore...Bob used to call it "burning out" a muscle...well I burnt out my gut today. Even though I got a new workout video in the mail today (Thanks Cousin Steph), my DVD player is sad so I had to wii today. I will have to do the new vid tomorrow...I will unveil the title of the video along with my detailed review!

Anyways, I have figured out that if I continue to put myself through the torture of gown shopping, I will continue to workout and eat healthy until the wedding! Good plan huh?

Speaking of plans... the knot website says there is only 500 days until the wedding! 500 days to loose the weight...I can do this! I know it!!!! As long as I keep shaming myself with bad dresses that accent my love gut I will get there! Matt is so supportive, but he also reminds me how great he thinks I look now...but he didn't see the sea of white BAD in that dressing room today. I might have nightmares....

So the food of the day:
coffee (x2 cups)
1/2 pumpernickel bagel with nonfat cream cheese
small filet steak sandwich
strawberries, raspberries, cherries
peach lemonade (x2)

paper and pinwheels and bears oh my!

These are what I have been working on currently, I finished a few yesterday, and I am IN LOVE with them! Matt and I spent a good portion of the afternoon just blowing on the finished ones and giggling. They take a little bit of time each, putting the holes in the dowel rods is the most frustrating thing, but I am so SO pleased with the final product. I think we will be investing in some giant tupperware bins to house all my crafts as I complete them, as I am running out of mugs and vases to store the little buggers.

Diet wise yesterday was a wash. To celebrate the return of my dear J. Tray to my life, we had a little BBQ with ribs and chicken legs, potato salad and fresh turnip greens from the garden! John was so impressed with my Martha abilities! I love just going out to the garden and picking my veggies for the evening. Matt made the turnips perfectly with some slivered garlic and a little pepper vinegar from the home state...YUM! We finished dinner with fresh strawberry and blueberry shortcake (strawberries fresh picked!) Either way, the diet went out the bay windows, and I enjoyed a fantastic dinner without guilt. It just means today I have to face wii fit calling me a Fatty again...in the cutest voice ever...damn you Nintendo and your clever ways! I will need to workout pretty awesomely...I'm thinking at least 3 hula hooping exercises..or something. My shoulder have been killing me from all the plank/pushup things that wii makes me do...hopefully that means my arm flab is shrinking!

Anyways, I am off to wiifit...and I love you all!

PS Thanks for all the support guys! Your comments keep me inspired and working out...

New look!

So, I changed up the look a little, I figured with the new name and all..

So I wii fitted 1:20 today! I mostly did the step aerobics, which I found I could watch TV while I worked out! Awesome! Except I found it really hard to change the channel and do step aerobics at the same time...I kept tripping and losing rhythm..apparently what I really need to work on is being able to do two simple actions at once. Also, Matt and I did a little walking this afternoon. I got a glue stick while we were out to work on my Wedding Binder! I LOVE binders, and LOVE LOVE the Wedding Binder. It's super special. All the pages in it are covered with plastic...yeah. It's a super SUPER special binder.

For food today I feel like I did pretty well.

Breakfast:
1/2 pumpernickel bagel with nonfat cream cheese
fruit cup of watermelon and strawberries
coffee (x2 cups)

Snack
strawberries

Lunch
1/2 turkey meatball sandwich, fresh mozzarella cheese
garden fresh salad (From my garden: lettuce, spinach, radishes) with white wine vinaigrette

Dinner
turnip greens with pepper vinegar

My body HURTS!!! I know I will be even More sore tomorrow, but I know it will all be worth it when I see the pictures after the wedding. I can't wait to start trying on dresses once I am at a happy weight...and I weight I know I will be able to maintain too! Just talked to mama, she makes my heart warm...I know with her help we are going to have the best time with this wedding!

xo

177 Woop woop!

I am officially never going back to the 180's. I have reached 177 and I am never turning back. 7 lbs and I will reach my first mini weight loss goal. Instead of rewarding myself with pie, I will reward myself with new workout shoes...I'm thinkin those Reebok butt shoes. I will review them, you will hear from me soon about whether or not my butt feels different...I'm not sure how different I WANT my butt to feel...sometimes a funny feeling in your ass is NOT a good thing...

I wii fitted for 1:07 today! It was super and my abs hurt like woah! I am hoping to be in moderate to heavy pain tomorrow, meaning I did a decent workout today. Iv'e lost 5 lbs since wii fit and I were introduced, SO I am going to go out on a limb here and say we are playing well together. I had to hide Bob and Jillian, I'm afraid they will get hurt feelings because I have found I new workout partner in "Un named fitness trainer female". I like her anonymity, it keeps me from getting too attached the way I did with Bob. I am considering adding Biggest Loser for wii fit to my rotation though, maybe after I reach my next mini goal. I am working on slowly losing weight for the wedding, my goal weight is 150lbs. The funny thing is I seriously cannot remember being 150 lbs in my adult life. Getting skinny in the summer is easy though...it's keeping it off during the Winter that sucks. When your skin doesn't see the light of day...it tends to get all lumpy under those sweatshirts.

I worked out for so long today because of the Scooperbowl yesterday. 33 flavors of ice cream ALL YOU CAN EAT...not kidding! I downed an entire scoop of Eddy's Birthday Cake (Uh YUM?) and a whole scoop of Ben and Jerry's Boston Cream Pie...Yes 2 of my favorite things morphed into one. magical. cup. It has CHUNKS! OF! CAKE! YALL! Seriously. Thank you Jesus it only happens once a year, and my lactose ability means it doesn't count too much...ya know...because it doesn't stay in....

Change of subject.

I was able to put back the newest Martha Stewart Weddings today. Matt (my loving and marvelous Fiance) made me choose between Martha and smoothie fruit. I chose smoothie fruit. So instead of looking at the DIY edition today, I will make a post workout strawberry mango smoothie, and then look at Martha Stewart Weddings online. HA Take that...uh somebody (i'm not sure who is taking it...but they will!) Matt and I are having such a good time listening to songs, making LISTS!!!, and bouncing ideas off each other. I need to stop looking at dresses right now, because anything I fall in love with this summer will be gone next...I'm just SO EXCITED! I have added some things to my DIY list... boutonnieres, if anybody finds a clever DIY boutonniere, please PLEASE send it my way. I will be workshopping several options this weekend, then I might have a poll from my readers about which one looks the most fun, pretty, which one gets a big fat thumbs down...ect. Also, I will workshopping paper flowers... opinions welcome, I know everyone will have one. Lastly, We priced invites yesterday....EEK! A decision was made.

We need to win the lotto.

Take that wii fit

So I wii fitted last night, did 50 minutes in my wii bank...hula hooping makes me sweat, and it's really fun! I did some yoga and strength as well. Loved it! Big ol thanks to my Auntie! So in my wedding planning obsession (I know its like a year and a half away but still...) I have decided the following.

*There will be no beach...Matt is terrified of sharks and open water...he hates the sand....Matt is NOT a beach fellow.
*I will have FABULOUS shoes.
*hand made pinwheels will be involved somewhere...
*All I can think about is sweets...all the time...candy, candy buffet, candy apples, cotton candy, cake, cupcakes, chocolate anything..PS this wedding will be brought to you by the letter "C"...
*I have been finding every DIY wedding site/blog I can find making me feel the need to hit up Michaels crafts in a major way...
*My DIY list includes but is not limited to...homemade paper pinwheels, my veil, jeweled headbands for my brides chicks, some sort of garland, mason jar somethin, felt fake mustaches...all will make sense at the end of Oct 2011....
*once I figure out how to put pics on this thing...you can all see my DIY progress as I turn my house into wedding central.
*I hope mama and daddy are prepared to begin housing the finished items...they will slowly be making their way to NC over the next 15 months:)
*I never knew how many people we knew until we started listing all of them in a spreadsheet...
*After looking a photos from my friends wedding, I have shoulders stacked like a linebacker...must work on this.
*Having to take photos of my hand for ring pics made me realize they look like troll hands, need to moisturize more often.
*If anyone sees any fun, DIY project, send me the link, everyone knows how much I love crafting and glue guns!


I have already lost almost 3 lbs, mostly by remembering how much I love vegetables. The garden is producing spinach, lettuce, turnips, and radishes...I never have an excuse to eat kraft macaroni and cheese. Dinner last night was salad with homemade white wine vinaigrette, half a sandwich no mayo. Not bad...tasted delish! Hopefully Matt and I can make an awesome and healthy meal tonight...

Wii Fit is mean to me

Wii fit called me a fat ass today...well it didn't say "Hey Meg, you is a fat ass" but it basically did and said I was 400 years old.

But I set a goal...and then I hula hooped!

I bought the wedding binder today, YAY! I am ready to fill it with lovely ideas and make a kick ass wedding event that will be talked about for years to come...at least by me and Matt:)

Where Tulle is Punished FOREVER

I went to David's Bridal for an "educational experience". I'm pretty sure this is Hell on Earth. I found out the following.

My size is in between double digits and Lane Bryant.
Tulle is NOT my friend.
Lace with iridescent sequins does not make me look like a mermaid...but more like one of those bloated marlins that has been laying on the dock for too long.
Lace with iridescent sequins HURTS.
The bigger the skirt...the bigger your ass.
I do not like having to back in and out of doorways because my dress needs a WIDE LOAD sticker on it.

I have fresh romaine lettuce and spinach from my garden. I have no excuse not to eat a salad. Except that there is chips and salsa that I would much rather be eating....

I had a birthday caramel and pecan cinnamon roll for breakfast today. I walked 12 blocks for it. I'm not sure if this cancels out the pecan carmel cinnamon roll or if it just shows my extreme addiction to pastry.

It's probably the latter.