The amount of apprehension and anxiety about returning to the blog after the last month is incredible. Trying to figure out how to still have a voice after the wind is knocked out of you is a daunting task, one that I have been putting off and putting off. We lost an incredible member of our family in December, someone who welcomed me into the Leddy clan with open arms and a big smile. Matt's father, who came to the wedding after surgery and radiation for brain cancer...well, we miss him.
Being the newest member of an incredible family during a time that is painful and sad...it could never be described without sounding (or feeling) incredibly selfish. I tried to. Deleted it (it sounded so stupid and selfish). I'll just leave it at that.
I feel like in order to get back on track I have to admit something, out loud, to the world out there. With all this sadness and anxiety, I have eaten my discomfort and gained a ton of weight (in a month). I'm the heaviest I have ever been. I see pictures of myself and I can't believe it. I'm finally getting real about this...I'm overweight. I'm fat. No jokes. Just putting it out there. And I need to work on it.
***It has taken me several hours to write this. And even longer to work up the balls to post.
The outside is only the reflection you see through a mirror. As your friends and I'm sure your family will tell you, you're a beautiful person no matter what weight you are. All ppl have different ways of grieving and over half Of ppl use their diet to do it. I was 210 lbs and now I'm at 155. Of I did it I know you can too. We will all be rooting for you from the sidelines of the race you're running. <3
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