Hello Kids, I am back to blogging!
After a long couple of weeks of work work work, I am back to the b-log.
I must start with a rant(haven't you missed them?) about the evil bitches that reside on theknot.com's community forums. They are all evil judgey whores and I suggest to anyone getting married not to waste your time seeking advice from such pathetic and snarky jerks. I could've written "I would like to wear a birdcage veil, thoughts?" And would have been immediately berated with comments about how birdcage veils are for losers, that they would cause my fiancé to break up with me immediately, and that overall I am a ugly fat skank for wanting to wear one...even though there is not a picture of me up on the website (to prove my fat ugly skankyness), nor any proof of my loserdom other than the fact I am searching for advice from a bunch of idiot strangers who have nothing better to do than sit on a wedding website at 1 in the afternoon....
take that knot community boards...HA!
The trip to NC in August was incredibly productive, we were able to book the most amazing photographer. She is such a sweetie, and we are so excited to have found her before she becomes world famous. Matt and I fell in love with her photos after I was stalking every photographer on the east coast, but almost lost hope when we saw she had no wedding photos...but, lo and behold she just began her move into the wedding industry and we snatched her up! Check out her pics.
http://rachleaphotoblog.com/
She ROCKS!
We also booked our caterer (Thanks Aunt Kathy), and our Florist (Thanks Aunt Kathy and Aunt Lisa!), and have the most wonderful site! Oh, and "Sandy"..."Sandy" is fierce.
And THE REAL DRESS. Bye bye Sabine. This one is LEGIT. I won't spoil it for you all, but I am just going to say...it is fabulous!!!
Now to loose the weight...
FOOD:
apple bread (BAD)
4 coffees (EH)
green beans (GOOD)
chicken (EH)
Salad
Soup
WINE, lots of wine (GOOD!)
2 oreos (AWESOME)
To the gym tomorrow.....
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
The Great North Carolina peeing adventure.
So as you all know, Matt and I embarked on a road trip down to the Tarheel State for a little wedding planning. We left in the evening and worked our way down 95 over the course of the night. Matt drove from Providence to the Virgina state line, where I took over.
110 miles into my leg of the drive. I had to pee. As I pulled into the gas station Matt jerked awake and balked at my bladder's need to release...I had been chugging redbull and coffee..what did he expect? Leaving him in the car, I take care of my business and climb back into the drivers seat and off we go again.
110 miles later, as I am turning on the blinker for the next pit stop, Matt awakes again. "Really? You have to go AGAIN?" He exclaims.
Well, duh... My thinking is that I had almost made it to getting off 95, the potty was my reward...wrong. Matt argued that we were so close to getting off 95 it made no sense to get off right now just to get back on again. I bought it.
Damn it.
45 minutes later we are off 95. I'm sweating, Crying, Shaking. And still have to pee. I pull off at the first informational sign that reads "GAS". It is 430am. On a random road in North Carolina...this is NOT promising.
15 minutes later...Still driving, somewhere in NC, in darkness. The sweat and tears are intensifying, I am sure they are urine passing in any way my body sees possible at this point. I begin to feel the doom setting in...I am going to pee my pants.
At least I have a change of clothes.
When there it is...glowing in the darkness like a magical steel building of dreams and potties. A beautiful illuminated gas station. And wait, there is an attendant! I swerve into the lot, slam into park, and run to the doors.
LOCKED.
"WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYY!!! I start screaming/crying beating on the glass doors..."HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!"
"We don't open till 7:00" The attendant mouths to me.
"WHAT!!! YOU #$%@ing piece of #&$*. I will pee on your @#$^ing wall you @*&% &**^%$$!" er...something like that.
I run to the car where Matt has now positioned himself in the drivers seat...
"Closed?" He casually asks.
I loose it. I am balled up rocking in the passenger seat, the dialogue goes something like this:
ME: "You better find a restroom before I pee all over your upholstery!"
MATT: "Can't you just pee in a Gatorade bottle?"
ME: "WHAT!?"
MATT: "Just go in the Gatorade bottle...ya know, hold it up against it..."
ME: "I don't know where it comes from!"
MATT: "WHAT? Your 26 years old, and you 'don't know where it comes from?!"
ME: "SHUDDUP! HELP ME JESUS!!! IM GONNA PEE MYSELF!!!!"
ME: "I'M GONNA PASS OUT AND PEE EVERYWHERE!"
ME: "AHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I DON'T WANT TO PEE IN THE CAR"
We pull over to the side of the road...at this point I have my pants off...I figured it would mean less stuff covered in pee.
I jump out and hang my naked ass over a guard rail and just let it go....just me in a white tanktop, engagement ring and the man on the moon enjoying a nice outdoor pee....Praying that the highway patrol doesn't drive up and arrest me for indecent pee-sposure.
I know what your thinking...that is one classy bride.
110 miles into my leg of the drive. I had to pee. As I pulled into the gas station Matt jerked awake and balked at my bladder's need to release...I had been chugging redbull and coffee..what did he expect? Leaving him in the car, I take care of my business and climb back into the drivers seat and off we go again.
110 miles later, as I am turning on the blinker for the next pit stop, Matt awakes again. "Really? You have to go AGAIN?" He exclaims.
Well, duh... My thinking is that I had almost made it to getting off 95, the potty was my reward...wrong. Matt argued that we were so close to getting off 95 it made no sense to get off right now just to get back on again. I bought it.
Damn it.
45 minutes later we are off 95. I'm sweating, Crying, Shaking. And still have to pee. I pull off at the first informational sign that reads "GAS". It is 430am. On a random road in North Carolina...this is NOT promising.
15 minutes later...Still driving, somewhere in NC, in darkness. The sweat and tears are intensifying, I am sure they are urine passing in any way my body sees possible at this point. I begin to feel the doom setting in...I am going to pee my pants.
At least I have a change of clothes.
When there it is...glowing in the darkness like a magical steel building of dreams and potties. A beautiful illuminated gas station. And wait, there is an attendant! I swerve into the lot, slam into park, and run to the doors.
LOCKED.
"WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYY!!! I start screaming/crying beating on the glass doors..."HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!"
"We don't open till 7:00" The attendant mouths to me.
"WHAT!!! YOU #$%@ing piece of #&$*. I will pee on your @#$^ing wall you @*&% &**^%$$!" er...something like that.
I run to the car where Matt has now positioned himself in the drivers seat...
"Closed?" He casually asks.
I loose it. I am balled up rocking in the passenger seat, the dialogue goes something like this:
ME: "You better find a restroom before I pee all over your upholstery!"
MATT: "Can't you just pee in a Gatorade bottle?"
ME: "WHAT!?"
MATT: "Just go in the Gatorade bottle...ya know, hold it up against it..."
ME: "I don't know where it comes from!"
MATT: "WHAT? Your 26 years old, and you 'don't know where it comes from?!"
ME: "SHUDDUP! HELP ME JESUS!!! IM GONNA PEE MYSELF!!!!"
ME: "I'M GONNA PASS OUT AND PEE EVERYWHERE!"
ME: "AHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I DON'T WANT TO PEE IN THE CAR"
We pull over to the side of the road...at this point I have my pants off...I figured it would mean less stuff covered in pee.
I jump out and hang my naked ass over a guard rail and just let it go....just me in a white tanktop, engagement ring and the man on the moon enjoying a nice outdoor pee....Praying that the highway patrol doesn't drive up and arrest me for indecent pee-sposure.
I know what your thinking...that is one classy bride.
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